Rockstar Grandparentনমুনা

“Truly Helpful”

Many times, what we perceive as helpful isn’t. I know that’s hard to hear. We go out of our way to do what we think is the helpful thing for our children and grandchildren, but some­times it’s not helpful at all. 

A young mom at our church was devastated after her mother came to help her after the birth of her second baby. The young mom envisioned her mother helping with the two-year-old and doing things like the laundry and cooking. But her mom declared she came to see the new baby and spent three days holding the baby and doing little else. The young mom was frustrated and exhausted when her mom’s visit was over.

Here is my opinion, and you can take it or leave it. Our first responsibility is to our children, the ones we raised. We need to look to see that what we are doing is helping them first and foremost. Our second responsibility is to help our grandchildren. 

In the situation with the young mom from our church, the adult child needed help. The grandchild was perfectly fine sleeping next to her mom or in her bed. The new mama needed her mom to help her in other ways besides holding the baby.

Help can come in many forms. As parents, we pulled teeth, ban­daged skinned knees, offered advice to complete an essay, made brown­ies, taught batting, drove car pools, and much more. As tired as we were during those days, there is a tiny bit of sadness when they’re over. There may even be a few years of bruised ego when you think no one needs you anymore. But grandchildren are notorious game changers, and your next chapter is about to be written by you and your grandchildren. Get ready. 

Family is God’s great design for teaching us how to live in a com­munity. Ultimately, we aim to live in heaven with millions of other believers. God needs to get us ready for that glorious event. Until then, we need to keep on learning by helping others—truly helping them—here on earth, and that starts with our families.

Rockstar grandparent, take action! Have a conversation with your adult child and ask, “What could I do that would be most helpful to you?” And humbly receive it.