Grace, Love, & Restনমুনা

He Made Me He Loves Me

When Ben and I started trying to have a family, we faced a lot of disappointments. We always knew we wanted to adopt but didn’t know when or how God would write that part of our story.  We were given a 1% chance to conceive naturally, and through a miracle we actually got pregnant only to lose the baby 6 weeks later. We experienced failed IVF transfers and as we faced the long road of international adoption, those doors kept closing as well.  To say we were disappointed and discouraged was an understatement. We felt let down by God. We knew having a family was a desire of our hearts and something He put there, so why were we facing so much opposition? 

Several years down the road, God woke me in the night to reach out to an adoption lawyer referred to me by a friend. He called the next day and said, “I have a baby boy, due in March, are you interested?” We put our “yes” on the table, even though we were scared to death of being disappointed. Five months later, we met our precious Pierce, whose story is miraculous in and of itself.  Two weeks before Pierce was born, we were told he wouldn’t make it.  Finally, our dream had come true and we found ourselves faced with more disappointment.  People rallied around us and believed for a miracle when our faith was less than a mustard seed.  Our baby boy was born with many complications, and the doctors prepared us for the worst, but God healed him! Not only that, but through this sweet life, God opened the door to adopt two of his biological siblings over the next four years.  

Both Ben and I would say, without question, that we’d go through that journey 100 times over if it meant we would end up with our children. God showed His goodness to us in countless ways along this journey, which was something we could not and would not ignore as we faced opposition. We clung to that goodness.

You see, God never promises a perfect life. He does promise that He will be there every step of the way (Hebrews 13:5).  When we wrote the song “He Made Me, He Loves Me”, we wanted to remind people that He does love them, and He does know their story and His plans for them are good ones! It might not seem that way. It might feel like He is hiding or He’s silent, but He is in the midst of the storm with you. He has not left your side. He’s cheering you on. He’s holding your hand. He’s walking up and down those hospital floors WITH YOU. He’s crying WITH YOU over the heartbreak you’re facing. Your story will be a beautiful one someday. Reminding yourself that He’s with you in it now can be what gets you through today.  

We pray that putting these songs on your lips will be a reminder that He hasn’t forgotten you and that He loves you. He MADE YOU. You are not a mistake. You are not an afterthought. You are part of His beautiful story.