I Still Believeনমুনা

DAY 6

Title: Learning to Trust God“You receive Jesus as your Savior. That’s the easy part. Then He starts trying to change your character. He starts trying to make you honest. And it’s work…you got His nature and your nature butting heads…And then after a while, you begin to trust Him.” - Russ

Devotional Content: I was 12 when I knew God called me to ministry. I was ecstatic. I talked to my pastor and he shared in my excitement. I was going to be a preacher. Then somehow over the next few years, I lost that passion. I didn’t want to be a pastor anymore. Instead, I would go to college, get a business degree, and be the best Christian businessman ever. I thought God would absolutely be thrilled with my plan. The problem was that the conversation concerning my new plan was one-sided. I never really got around to asking God about it because I was afraid of His answer.  

So I went off to college, met Nancy, graduated college, asked her to marry me, and started my business career. The interesting thing as I look back at my first years in business was that I didn’t hate what I was doing -- probably because there were some great perks. Yet, there was also this hole deep inside me that never was filled because I was still running from God. I began an annual ritual of bargaining with God. It was the same old “I’ll be the best Christian businessman” deal. As I walked away from those encounters each year, the hole just kept getting bigger until the “I’m not miserable in my job” part was no longer true. 

Finally at age 35, I said, “I give. I’ll do whatever you want.”  My first step was to tell Nancy what I told God. When she said, “I’m all in,” I knew we were good. Besides, God was not going to lay something on my heart that He did not also lay on hers. She then suggested that I talk to a longtime friend who was in ministry as a Christian counselor. As we had lunch one day, he looked at me and said, “Have you ever thought about becoming a Christian counselor?” My answer was no. I thought to myself, “How could I consider that when I am running from God and not to Him?” Christian counseling. That sounded good to me and God seemed to be fine with it.  He began to teach me a lot about trusting Him. I thought I trusted God in the past but realized it was pretty conditional. It was easy to trust when things were going my way. 

When I began a new path for my life and my family, trusting Him at that level was a brand-new experience. First, I was not sure I could even get into grad school. My undergraduate grades were awful. But somehow I got in, although on probation. Our income dropped more than half over the next couple of years, but God always provided. We lost some friends who thought I was crazy to go into ministry, but God brought new amazing friendships into our lives. Learning to trust God was the hardest but most rewarding thing I had ever done in my relationship with Him. 

God and I became really good friends. I realized how much He really loved me and that His plan for my life, marriage, and family was far better than I could have ever dreamed of. For a time, I did beat myself up over running from God for so long, but do you know what God did? He showed me how He was going to use all those experiences for good. I guess the bottom line for me is that by really trusting God, He went from being something out there that I was not really sure of to being a Father that I cherish.

Today’s Challenge: If anything is keeping you from trusting God, why not bring that before Him today?