Releasing Our Burdens // Letting Go Of Fear And Worryনমুনা

Love and Death

You don’t have to have words now. It’s okay. You don’t have to know how to steady your heart. I can do that. I know the pain is great. You feel fragile, unsteady. Angry. Confused. You want to pound on my chest? You can do that. You want to run and yell or curl up in a ball and not talk to a soul? That’s okay. You can do that. For a while. When you love, your heart has the ability to break wide open. And this is it, what’s happening now . . .your heart, breaking open. You feel sick and weak and angry and wishing time could go backward or that this is all just a dream, a very bad, very bad dream. I know. I know. 

Let me carry your heart now.  A breaking heart hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Love is never pain free. 

So how is it worth it, you wonder? How is love worth it when a loved one dies and it hurts so much? How is it worth it to feel so much pain? You know the answer to that . . .You know that love, even if it breaks your heart, is worth it. The love for another has given you a gift you can never explain. Not with words, anyway. 

But let’s try.

Love makes you vulnerable and strong all at once.

Love is something you can’t control—not once you have surrendered to it. And that’s how you feel: vulnerable. When you love, your heart is joined to another, while it is fully yours too. When you love it is because you have received love. Not necessarily from the one you love—but from me. If you were loved, it was because of me. So to be loved—and to love another—means you have received a gift from me. And gifts from me never die. Gifts from me are made to go on forever.

In me, love never dies. That is how you feel strong.

So, what of death then? If love is a gift from me, and this gift of love enables you to love another, how do you cope when the one you loves dies? And how do you go on when, in death, that love you feel does not feel like a gift at all, but a dying of your very self too? I know; love then, does not feel empowering. It just feels painful. It feels destructive. It feels impossible for you to keep going on.

I know. I know. But you can. You can. And it is a lie that love does not empower. Love is everything. It fuels hope. It fuels joy. It fuels this life I give you. It is me. Love is who I am.

Will you no let me carry your heart? Will you let me hold you? Will you let me walk next to you? Will you lean into me, trusting me that love is never a mistake . . . love is always good, even when the one you love dies and love then feels like a mistake? Remember this, son, daughter, love is never a mistake. Love is always good.  Because while death ends, love never will. Trust me. And the one you love, if they know me, will never die. Love never dies. And so, in Christ, the one you love will never die.

This is not the end. Death is not the end. And this heartache you now feel will subside. The ache will decrease, although it will likely never go away. But know that love was worth it. Because it is what I do. It is where I am. This is how you keep going. One day. And then another. Look for me. I am all around you. Even if the one you loved is no longer here, I am here. There is so much good coming. Right here. Trust me. Right here.

Exercise:

Love makes us feel fragile—and the heartache of loss can feel too great, sometimes, to bear. Going one day at a time, looking to our Father for comfort, for peace, for hope, in the midst of our heartache, is what we must do. And the healing comes, bit by bit. 

Our Jesus was a man of sorrows, our God who knew grief. He bears our pain now—taking it upon himself as we entrust him with it. Just as he takes our sin; he takes our burdens. He cares for our hearts—his love a salve when we feel emotionally bruised, beaten, and exhausted.

I invite you to imagine Jesus placing his hand upon your heart—your heart that aches from the sorrows you have personally experienced in your life. Sorrows that bring fear. Sorrows that bring anger. Sorrows that bring anguish. He is here. His hand upon your heart. His love brings healing to your pain. 

Feel His hand upon your chest, His eyes looking into yours. He sees you. He knows your story. He knows the sorrows of this world are too much for you to bear. So He bears them. Because He loves you, he bears your heartache. Do you want to give it to Him now?

Jesus, man of sorrows, my King, I give you my heart now. This pain is too heavy for me. I feel weary, dry. In this desert place, guide me through. I don’t know the next step. I can barely lift my head. Give me strength. And hope. Give me peace. And comfort. Thank you for your love, your rescue, your presence with me.You never leave me. You never forsake me. Your love fills me and sustains me. You lift my head and replace my pain with your healing love. Come, Jesus. I need you. Come.