Compassion in Marriageনমুনা

Author and philosopher Leo Buscaglia once spoke about a contest he had been asked to judge. The judges were tasked with the daunting role of identifying and naming the most compassionate child who had entered the contest. Out of all of the many activities, words and caring expressions the judges had to choose from, they landed on a young boy whose winning actions may surprise you.

When his elderly neighbor lost his wife to illness, the young boy walked over to his house, climbed up into his lap and sat there. Like Jesus weeping with Mary and Martha rather than relying on logic or language to explain that Lazarus had really just gone on to heaven and that heaven was actually great, the boy – relying on the wisdom of childlike intuition – simply let a tear, or two, fall as well. Later, when his mom asked what he had said to help lift the spirit of the elderly neighbor, her son replied, “Nothing. I just helped him cry.”

Similarly, compassion in a marriage relationship often comes clothed in quiet. A hand held. A tear wiped. Or, even, a tear shared. It’s found in giving space when space is needed. Prayer when words won’t work. Compassion calls for withholding judgment, reducing what may feel like “personally-urgent” demands or requests, and setting the other’s spiritual and emotional needs in front of our own in that moment. 

Reflect and Respond: 

What is one way you can express compassion and care to your spouse?

In what area does your spouse need your compassion the most?