Where Do You Draw the Line?

Considered the following scale of physical contact and drawn a line where you think it belongs for you. In other words, after seeking God’s wisdom, where do you draw the line?

The objective isn’t just to abstain from something good because you were told it’s wrong. Abstaining from sex before marriage - which God created and is good - honors God and benefits your marriage long-term. 

Surrendering your passions temporarily to God eliminates guilts, helps you focus on connecting in other ways, and builds up blessings for you in the future. 

We could tell you in specific terms where we think you should set your boundaries. We could point out that anytime you move past stage five it becomes exponentially more difficult to maintain control. But telling you what to do makes little difference unless you hold the belief with conviction. We ­can’t be your conscience. 

This is a decision that requires serious thinking, clear understanding of where your values are based, and quite a bit of soul-searching on your part. "Examine yourselves," Paul says in 2 Corinthians 13:5, "to see whether you are in the faith." You need to carefully consider what you and the person you are dating mutually agree is acceptable, given your values and goals. 

You need to decide exactly what is off-limits when it comes to physical touch, and you need to decide what settings (being alone in an apartment together, for example) are off-limits when it comes to how you express your passionate feelings. You also need to consider the kinds of clothes you wear on a date and whether they might make sticking to your decision more difficult.

Setting boundaries is a decision you need to make on your own and eventually talk over with your partner. You both need to know what the boundaries are.