Are You Stuck? How to Conquer Indecisionনমুনা

One Woman's Story

I once talked to a woman, let’s call her Sheri, who was stuck in indecision, and because of it she was miserable. Her story appears in my book, "How to Make the Right Decision Every Time - 10 Keys for Finding God's Direction".

We’ve all been there – stuck in indecision. Maybe you’re even there right now or know someone who is.

Sheri had been married to her husband for more than 30 years. It was the second marriage for both of them. Her first marriage had ended after 13 years when her husband left her for another woman.

Sheri told me that she had had maybe two or three good years in this second marriage. The rest of them were awful. She didn’t tell me all the details, but she said, “I have every biblical reason to divorce him, but I’ve tried to hang on, hoping for a change. I’ve spent most of these 30-plus years trying to decide to stay or go.”

Only a couple of Sheri’s close Christian friends knew about her situation and, trying to help, they would tell her, “God will tell you whether or not to leave him.” But that just led to more indecision on her part.

Sheri told me: “Since God hates divorce, I know He would not ‘tell’ me to do something He hates. So the choice is mine—it’s in my hands, not His. I know He’d still love me if I divorced again, but do I want to do something He hates?”

She told me she was financially independent and not afraid of being alone, but she couldn’t handle the stigma of being divorced twice.

“I know we are measured many times by our marriage relationship,” she said. “It affects how people see us. They don’t mean to judge, but I’ve lived it, so I know. But right now I’m living in a bad marriage, and it affects every area of my life. I don’t want to be a bad testimony to the church, but unless someone has lived like this, they have no idea what it’s like. People don’t understand. If I do tell anyone about it, they just tell me to pray, and that’s all.”

I can only imagine the misery Sheri was going through. I could tell that those same thoughts had been running around and around in her head for years. Sheri needed help.