UNCOMMEN: Surviving Divorceনমুনা

Scripture Reference: 

But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. John 14:26

Tap Out

We talked about submission in the last post and suggested three places to start. Here are two more. 

I submitted to good books. Most men I know hate to read. Especially books about relationships. The quickest way I know for a woman to kill a man’s spirit is to insist he read relationship books. I agree. Don’t read them now (maybe later). Read books that talk about good men and how they live life. Read books about men who have loved well. Men who are praised by their wives because their wives feel loved. Men who are praised by their children because their children feel loved. Those men - if you can find books like that. I have a few in my library - very few. 

I submitted to every inkling of the Holy Spirit. This is last but most important. You must strain to hear the silent, authoritative voice of the Spirit. He will give you everything you need. Once you hear, you must do, no hesitation. And let me warn you, the Spirit can ask you to do things that are the exact opposite of what you think is right. Do it anyway. As long as you are positive it’s the Spirit speaking. Here’s what I learned to say every morning when I woke, ‘Lord, here I am, I’m going to do whatever it is you tell me to do today, and I don’t care what anyone thinks about it.’ I found myself saying it over and over throughout the day, I still say it.

When I started submitting, I began to heal. My anger dissolved, my pride (shown mostly in my judgmental attitudes) lessened, my determination to be a good man grew, and my attention to people increased. My work got better, my walk with God became intimate in ways I never felt before, my kids became more precious to me, my whole life turned. Joy is a good word for it. 

I stumbled a lot. I failed even more. But I kept submitting. I kept tapping myself out and letting the Spirit win. I intend to continue. There are many other things I had to do to recover from the separation and divorce I didn’t want, but these were the first. Other steps included how not to blame anyone but myself (a big one for me), how to be a single dad, how to relate to those who had ‘perfect’ marriages, how to relate to women who were available, how to tell people what happened, how to face the Church, how to accept grace and forgiveness, how to accept restoration, how to not be in control, how to have fun, and many, many other things. 

I have found God to be more than faithful. My life is abundant and joyous now - yours will be too - you’ll see.