Hope For The Futureনমুনা

Questions And Doubts

I told Jimmy. He was excited. Of course, he could be excited. He could walk away, like my dad, and not have a baby affect him for the rest of his life. 

I didn’t tell many people. I especially didn’t tell my teachers. What would they think? They knew I had a promising future ahead of me. So I pretended like nothing was different. I kept working. I kept up the good grades. 

Then I started showing and so did the looks of pity and disappointment. 

I knew I couldn’t live with an abortion, but could I live with an adoption? Why wouldn’t God just let me have a miscarriage, like my mom? That’s what I kept hoping for. “Please, God, just take this baby so I can do great things with my life. I promise I’ll help out the needy once I become a doctor. I’ll volunteer in poor countries, just take this baby back.”

I needed love, not a baby. Didn’t God know that? I was desperate for someone to validate my feelings about my dad abandoning me. I wanted someone to love me. 

How could someone who felt abandoned and unloved love a baby the way it needed?

--Brandy

Now think about YOUR story:

What questions are running through your mind right now?

What are the answers you’re hoping for?

Where are you looking to find those answers?

PRAYER: Lord, I don’t understand all the things that have happened in my life. All I know is that You are good and as I wait, You hear my prayer.