What are Your Boundaries?

Philippians 2:3-4

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

“And will you respect mine?”

As you move into a more serious relationship with someone, where things like marriage and family become more likely, knowing and respecting each other’s boundaries becomes a top priority.

All healthy relationships have boundaries. Boundaries are the personal limits you set on what is and isn't acceptable in terms of behavior, emotions, and physicality. They create a safe and respectful space in a relationship and can help prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Setting boundaries isn't always easy, but it's an essential part of maintaining a healthy relationship, especially as things turn more serious. When setting boundaries, it's important to be clear and concise about what you're comfortable with and what you're not. It's also important to be respectful of your partner's boundaries and ensure you’re not crossing their lines.

The first boundary that likely comes to mind is waiting until marriage to have sex. Many Christians choose to follow Biblical teaching about saving themselves for marriage. And that’s definitely a conversation to have. However, boundaries go beyond sex and involve a mutual understanding and respect for what is and isn’t acceptable in a relationship.

As you begin to pursue a more serious relationship, respect becomes even more critical. A Christlike relationship puts the other person first, and love always honors. When you know someone’s boundaries, and they know yours, it’s much easier to respect and honor them with your actions.

Behavioral Boundaries & Questions to Ask:

How do you prioritize your friendships while in a serious relationship?

What are your expectations regarding spending time with people of the opposite sex?

What do you consider cheating or being disloyal in a romantic relationship?

Are you open to having “free range” to each other's phones and/or social media accounts?

Emotional Boundaries & Questions to Ask:

How do you prioritize space for personal growth while in a serious relationship?

How do you naturally respond to conflict, and what’s your method of resolution?

What is the best way to approach you when I’m feeling hurt or disrespected?

Physical Boundaries & Questions to Ask:

Are you saving yourself for marriage?

What type of physical intimacy are you comfortable with before marriage?

Are you okay with PDA in public, in front of friends or family?