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If it is not a habit of building each other up in your marriage and you want to make that transition in your relationship, the best place to start is in prayer. As you pray for your marriage and ask for God's blessings in your marriage, you will find your spirit soften to your spouse. Asking God to create in you a pure heart like David did in the Psalms, along with a steadfast spirit, will give you the foundation to begin seeing your spouse through God's eyes of love, grace and kindness.

Meditate on the good things God has done in your spouse's life and as you do, your prayers will begin to be directed toward those things. As a result, God will work in your marriage to bring about more good things in that way. Cast down any thought of negativity before Satan has an opportunity to create a stronghold and division in your mind with it (2 Corinthians 10:5).

You can begin by praying these guided prayers and using them as a catalyst for your own:

“Heavenly Father, You say that it is to my glory to overlook a fault. Also, that patience is a virtue and grace a gift. These are things that You have already shown time and time again. If You held my sins and faults against me, I would have no hope. Instead, You willingly forgive and even provide the pathway for that forgiveness to take place through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

Receive my praise for Your patience. Accept my worship for your willingness to forgive. I honor Your heart which so readily overlooks my faults. Mold me into Your likeness in my character and emotions, Lord, so that I can reflect You in my marriage. In Christ's name, amen.”

Talk to God About Your Marriage

Use this time in prayer to identify patterns that may have crept into your marriage relationship where criticizing or fault-finding exist. It could be in yourself, your spouse or even in both of you. Once your patterns are identified, pray through each area and ask God for wisdom and awareness on how to overcome them. Seek to replace anything negative that would normally come from your mouth with something positive. Choose something affirming rather than derogatory. As you continue to do these things, a tendency toward finding fault will lessen. If it is your spouse who is quick to find faults with you, ask God to intervene in his or her life and convict them of this sin. Then pray faithfully that the Lord will transform your spouse’s mind, heart and words by the power of His Spirit into that which brings life into your marriage instead.

Prayer for His Blessing

“Gracious Lord, help me to be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. Help me to be mindful of what I say both to and about my spouse. Rather than look to correct my spouse, I ask that You help me look to encourage my spouse. Create in me a pure heart and a pure spirit which seeks to bring good and not bad to those around me. Please also cause my spouse not to fall into the trap of fault-finding regarding me either.

Give my spouse self-control over what they say to me and about me. Enable my spouse to recognize the good in me and overlook my faults. Thank You for giving us both the ability to improve in this area of our marriage as we trust in You to do just that. In Christ’s name, amen.”

Grow closer in your marriage through the power of prayer in the helpful "Prayers of Blessing Over My Marriage" book, at this link.

Grow closer in your marriage by listening to meditative Scripture on marriage by clicking here.