Living Open-Handed: Devotions for Surrendering Control and Finding Joy in the Unexpectedናሙና

Comparison is a Sign of Distrust

“Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.” LUKE 12:27–28

"How old is your daughter again?" I asked. "Fourteen months!" she responded. Yup, just as I thought, her daughter was only a month older than my youngest, and yet my daughter was sitting in the stroller instead of playing. Why? Because she couldn’t keep up with the other kids as they ran, jumped, and climbed. My daughter was born with Down syndrome, which physically includes lower muscle tone than the typical child. This means that her timeline to do what typical kids her age are doing takes longer. Almost immediately, my mood plummeted. We’ve all read the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” right? Oof, I can attest to that. I wish it were as easy as saying, “Well, just don’t compare!” But sometimes, telling ourselves to stop comparing means we hinder breaking down why we compare in the first place, which is necessary to stop comparing.

Why was I comparing? Because I felt like she was left out, I was impatient, and most of all, I didn’t trust God’s timeline and provision for her. But as Scripture tells us, the wildflowers don’t toil and labor, and yet they grow exactly the way God intends. Why did I let comparison steal my joy and amplify my doubts about my beautiful wildflower? So what if it takes her a little longer to do the things that kids her age are doing? So what if she never does something they do? She has her deliberate timeline, and my role as her mom isn’t to rush or push her but to guide and support her. I don’t need to toil and labor and worry! I need to trust.

The next time I saw this mom friend, I combated any initial comparative thoughts with one of openhanded trust. Over time, that surrender has meant greater joy in playdates and trust in God’s plan for my daughter.

Dear Lord, I say that I trust You, but I keep parts of me hidden. Help me open my hands and release my grip. I don’t want comparison or worry to take any more time. Amen.

Reflect: Where are you when it comes to comparing in your life? Do you see how it steals your joy? Where is your distrust louder than your trust?