Good Grief: Living and Learning Through Loss a 7-Day Plan by Maya J.T. Dawsonናሙና

Day 3: Rising Above Anger

The grieving process has good days. The grieving process has bad days. And the grieving process has downright ugly days. On those ugly days, anger often rears its head.

Let’s be clear. Anger is a natural emotion. In some cases, our anger can even be righteous. Yet the Bible clearly commands us to “Be angry, but do not sin.” This means that we will inevitably experience the emotion of anger. What’s most important is how we respond when that emotion arises. Being angry does not give us permission to act out of character. Being angry does not give us permission to lash out. Being angry does not give us permission us to sin.

And so the question becomes, “What are we supposed to do with our anger?” “As a Christian, how should we respond when we become angry?” This is where the gift of having a personal relationship with God comes into play. Through His word, He invites us to come and pour out our hearts to Him. How amazing is it that we can come to a perfect and holy God in the midst of feeling such an ugly emotion. We don’t need to clean ourselves up or get ourselves together first because let’s face it, we can’t! Only God can clean us up and put us back together again. That’s why we need Jesus. And that’s why our works will never suffice. It’s only by God’s grace that we are made healthy and whole.

So, what does it look like to come to God and pour out your heart to Him? It looks like being honest with Him about how you are feeling. You may have heard the phrase “Vent Up” in the workplace or organizations with a leadership hierarchy. This applies to the Kingdom of God as well. Bringing your anger to God is the ultimate example of venting up. You can’t go any higher than Him! And honestly, He’s the only one who can do anything about our anger. Having a personal relationship with God allows us to trust Him with every aspect of who we are. We don’t have to put on airs or present ourselves to Him in a certain way to be loved and accepted. He loves us on our good days. He loves us on our bad days. And most importantly, He loves us on our downright ugly days.

I’ve found that when I bring my anger to God, He gives me His perspective. As He extends grace and compassion to me, He helps me extend grace and compassion to others. And for every inexplicable question I bring, He exchanges it for insight regarding His wisdom and sovereignty. I may never fully understand all of the “whys” I bring to God, but I am learning to rest in the fact that He knows the end from the beginning and everything in between. I’m learning to trust that God’s ways are higher and better than mine. He sees and sews it all into a beautiful tapestry. When anger arises, will you choose to seek God’s way over your own desires and questions?

“Be angry, and do not sin;

ponder in your own hearts on your beds,

and be silent.

Selah.

Offer right sacrifices,

and put your trust in the Lord.”

Psalm 4:4-5 (ESV)

“Trust in him at all times,

O people;

pour out your heart before him;

God is a refuge to us.

Selah.”

Psalm 62:8 (ESV)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,

declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV)