Survival Guide to Motherhood: A 7-Day Parenting Pep Talkናሙና

Day 6: Stop Striving for Perfection

I truly believe Satan uses this thinking that perfection might be possible to keep us isolated. As long as we have the false belief that we must be perfect, act perfectly, and live perfectly to be loved, we will never live the Christian life the way we should. Gently remind yourselves that all our needs are met in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). In other words, if we could attain perfection, why would we need a Savior?

This concept really burdens my heart. The goal of perfection can never be achieved, and the pursuit of it always leaves women feeling inadequate. I get angry with our society, which encourages us to strive for perfection. Social media alone paints this beautiful, perfect picture of families and moms. But here is the deal: Those pictures people post are just that—pictures. How quickly we forget those are just pictures! We begin to believe that those pictures are the way those people live all the time, not just a highlight. People post the “best” of everything. No one ever posts a picture on social media of their child having a meltdown in the grocery store, or their living room that looks like a toy explosion happened, or their high school student’s failed grade.

So, I am giving you permission not to be perfect. Your children do not have to be perfect, your home does not have to be perfect, your marriage doesn’t have to be perfect, and you, don’t have to be perfect. For some of you, this brings a sigh of relief. For others—my perfectionists out there—this will be more difficult to take in. Because you not only look for perfection in yourself; you look for perfection in your children as well. But just like you will never be a perfect parent, they will never be perfect children. They will never be able to measure up to your standard. They will never be able to sustain a perfect life.

If you are one of the many moms out there who struggles with a desire to be perfect, let me give you a tip: Put your efforts in perfection toward perfecting your walk with God. Put your energies and emotions into being the best child of God you can be. Start every day by saying, “God, let me be poured-out wine and broken bread for You. I want Your will to be done in my life more than my own will. I pray that there would be less of me and more of You.” If you commit to this prayer, it will help you die to yourself and your image of perfection every day. And over time, your marriage, your children, and your home will be better because of it.

Colossians 3:17 says,

Whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father (NASB).

This verse makes it clear that God wants us to do our best—to work hard at achieving excellence . There is a fine line, though, between doing our best and trying to be perfect . It is very easy to cross over to the other side, and if some of us have these tendencies, we should be aware of the danger that lies ahead .

Remember, focus on doing your best in the season you’re in. One day the craziness will come to an end. Don’t give up or get discouraged. You are doing a great job!

What areas of control are you holding on to that you can (and should) release to God? How can regular prayer over this struggle help you do this?