Overcoming Lonelinessናሙና

The Loneliness of Offense

In my early twenties, I went through a difficult breakup, followed by months of self-inflicted dysfunction and loneliness because of my offense. I had been hurt deeply, and I was unwilling to confront and confess my offense to God and my community. As my unconfessed hurt, pain, and sin continued to fester, I began to withdraw and isolate myself emotionally, socially, and, most detrimentally, spiritually. I shared just enough with people close to me and avoided invitations at all costs. My prayers and Bible time were focused on myself, and I turned my eyes and heart away from God. I had been hurt, and my offense from that rejection led me to experience some of the loneliest months of my entire life.

I wonder how often we let hurt feelings or an off-putting comment create barriers in our relationships. We tell ourselves it’s small or no big deal, so instead of confronting and confessing the offense immediately, we file away that hurt in our hearts. We tell ourselves it doesn’t matter, but the next time we get hurt, we pull out a laundry list of little offenses and tack it to the bottom. Before you know it, you are falling victim to the loneliness of offense that separates us from people and God.

Perhaps there are relationships in your life right now you know are being hurt by your offense. Confession and repentance are at the core of our walk with Jesus. If we don’t confess our sins to Him and repent, we don’t experience His forgiveness, grace, and salvation in its fullness. We experience new life in Christ immediately when we choose to follow Him, but the discipline of confession and turning away from our sin is ongoing.

Matthew 6:14-15 says “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Reflect on these questions today, and confess your hurt and offense!

1. How should receiving forgiveness from God impact your ability to extend forgiveness?
2. When has offense created a barrier to relationships with people? With God?
3. Is there anyone in your life that has hurt you recently that you need to forgive?
4. What do you need to do to make it right?