Beginning Forgiveness Journeyናሙና

Some Practical Matters on Forgiveness

1. Acknowledge What is Really Inside Our Heart

Let's get real about our pain. No self-denial. Dive deep into your heart and feelings. If there's anger, disappointment, resentment, heartache - let it out. Are you trying to forget and bury it, but still clutching onto that heartache? Or are you denying your pain? Or are you justifying the actions of the person who hurt you, and suppressing your pain?

Write down on a piece of paper, the name/s of people who have hurt you and with whom you are still angry with. Write what the person/s did. Get in touch with your emotions even as you’re writing those things down.

The journey to forgiveness starts with acknowledging what lies in the deepest part of your heart.

2. Choose Mercy Over Judgment

Let's separate the sin from the sinner. The evil deeds that others have done to us don't need to be justified. Their mistakes are just that - mistakes. But sin and sinner are two different things. The sin is the evil act, the sinner is a person loved by God and God asks us to forgive.

You don't need to wait until the person who wronged you apologizes. Your forgiveness can be released when you make your choice.

Don't see yourself as a victim anymore, but see yourself as an agent of forgiveness, someone who is blessed with the strength to forgive. Look at the Father, who unveils within you the unlimited riches of his glory and favor until supernatural strength floods your innermost being with the Holy Spirit’s divine might and explosive power. Then, by constantly using your faith, the life of Christ will be released deep inside you, and the resting place of His love will become the very source and root of your life (read again Ephesians 3:16-17).

Then without you realizing it, forgiveness flows miraculously.

3. Use Wisdom in Our Future Relationships

We also need to be wise to act forward. We forgive the person who hurt us, but we also need to take important steps to protect ourselves, if needed by keeping a distance. If you were cheated, learn the lessons and avoid being cheated again.

Forgiveness is not about letting the person who did wrong avoid the consequences of their action. It is also not avoiding confrontation​. Even after we forgive, we need to exercise wisdom not to trust someone who is not trustworthy.

4. Complete Forgiveness of Deep Hurt Often Takes Time

Walk the journey not with your own might, but by the power of the Holy Spirit that floods our deepest hearts. When you try to rely on your own strength or try to fulfill it as a law, often it becomes a boomerang that hurts you even more. The journey may be long, but the Holy Spirit will always hold your hand.

5. What Will We Experience Through This Forgiveness Journey?

• Forgiveness frees us from bitterness, hatred, and anger.
• Forgiveness frees us from burdens that we don't need to bear.
• Forgiveness allows the peace of God to fully embrace us.
• Forgiveness shows to others that we ourselves have received God's forgiveness so we can forgive.
• Forgiveness also brings reconciliation with the person who hurt us and blesses his life.