Wonderfully Complexናሙና

GUILT & SHAME

Guilt is a complex emotion rooted in the belief that one has to earn their value, and guilt is the fruit when one experiences failure. Cousins of guilt are emotions such as self-condemnation, self-disapproval, fear, sadness, defensiveness, and desperation. When our crucial needs of love, purpose, and value are built into the idea that we have to earn our value, then guilt is the fruit of complex emotions when we fail to reach our goals.

There are two types of guilt.

The first is when we experience a conviction over a mistake. This type of guilt is linked to the wrongness of an action, ‘I made a mistake.’ A healthy response leads to repentance.

The second type of guilt is shame-based guilt linked to the wrongness of being, where ‘I am a mistake’ or ‘I’m not good enough.’ This guilt is driven by a need to earn or achieve a certain standard to feel any sense of worth. It is often influenced by condemnation, not conviction.

The enemy’s primary goal is to cripple you with shame-based guilt. If he can get you to believe there is something “wrong” with you through shame, an identity-crippling emotion, then he can keep you working hard, trying to fix your shame. This is not the gospel of grace but a lie based on works.

Remember, in Christ, there is no condemnation. Conviction leads us to repentance; it leads to Christ, in whom we find forgiveness of sin and grace. Condemnation causes us to run away from Christ, as we believe we don't deserve His love and grace. His grace is the antidote to guilt.

REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS:

• Do you struggle with confidence in your value when you fail?
• Do you struggle with guilt when not performing or if you feel like you are missing the mark?
• What is your greatest fear when it comes to performance?

PRAY

Lord, I thank you that your voice, not my performance, determines my value. I pray you help me align my value and self-worth to your heart. Help me embrace my position in you, knowing I am accepted just as I am.