Believe for It: When Passing on Faith Is Difficultናሙና

Day 3: Putting in the Work

I wouldn’t say growing up in the Winans household was like boot camp, but my parents definitely ran a tight ship. For my first four years of life, I was the only girl among seven older brothers. You can imagine the chaos created by seven young men living in cramped quarters!

When my parents were home, however, order reigned. They both believed discipline was a virtue. And when we strayed from acceptable behavior, there were consequences. Mom and Pop Winans lived by the words of Proverbs 13:24: “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” They carefully disciplined us because they loved us. Even if my siblings and I sometimes wished they would be less careful.

Parenting in this way required a lot of effort and intentionality. As a parent myself, I recognize how easy it is to let little character flaws and behavior problems go uncorrected. Applying “careful discipline” isn’t a joyride. But here’s why it matters: When we discipline our children, we model the character of God.

Proverbs 3:12 tells us, “Because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” "Correction" is an act of love. The parent who disciplines this way has his or her child’s best at heart. I was fortunate to feel this love in my parents’ discipline. They would tell me the truth about my sin and make sure I felt the weight of its consequences, but later there would be an embrace and reassurance that everything was OK. They didn’t hold grudges and I never doubted that they loved me.

When my children were growing up, I tried to parent in this same way. I wanted them to understand that walking with Jesus isn’t about behavior modification. We all make mistakes; we all sin. Offering truth from God’s Word and loving correction helps our children see that life is better when we confess our sins and allow the Lord to restore our hearts and renew our minds.

While I didn’t always do it perfectly — no parent does — I believe instilling the basics of the faith, in Alvin III and Ashley, eventually bore the fruit of godliness in their lives. Even at times when they may not have been putting God first, they knew what He desired from them.

Question to Consider

• Who in your life has “put in the work” to train you spiritually and enhance your walk of faith? What are some ways you can lay the foundation of faith in your home and in the next generation?