[Wisdom of Solomon] the Wedding Day and Nightናሙና

The Elephant In The Room

Have you ever felt weird talking about certain subjects with certain people? You know that it is not that big of a deal, but something within you feels awkward bringing it up. This is, unfortunately, how the topic of sex is seen in the Christian world. There seems to be a disconnect between God’s invention of physical intimacy and how it was meant for our good and His glory. God invented marriage. He knows exactly how it’s supposed to be. It was created to be under the blessing of God, but what you see in the world, on social media, and in movies isn’t under His blessing and intention for it. Because of this, we also have lost the fact that the goal of marriage isn’t sex, but intimacy.

In this story, we see that Solomon, on their wedding night, starts by praising his wife. He calls her beautiful. He calls her his ”darling” nine times. ”Darling” means lover and friend. He begins to take her guard over and protect his wife by delighting in the parts of her that only a husband, who cares more about her than sex, would.

He protects her insecurities. Solomon talks about her hair, her eyes, and her neck. You see that he goes from head to toe. What he is doing is showing her a place in their bedroom, in private, where she can let her guard down. He does not command her. He calls her. He does not demand, but rather invites her to be embraced in his love. Solomon will care for and protect her, and we see that this sensual anticipation must be clothed with words, safety, and security if one expects a warm reception.

The bedroom should be the safest place on earth in a marriage. It’s where all walls of emotion, physical exhaustion, spiritual struggles, breakthroughs, and relational issues can be addressed and done lovingly. God wants sex and intimacy under marriage because He wants people to learn how to talk to each other first. Words of affirmation precede true intimacy.

Solomon invites his wife to come to a place where they can talk first and then have sex. The world wants no relationship and all sex. In a godly marriage, in contrast, sex is a benefit of the intimacy that exists because of affirmation and relationship. Sex is meant for enjoyment and God’s glory. God wants us to be under His blessing and for us to care more for each other than what we can give each other. Do you have this relational intimacy? Have you been under the Lord’s blessing? Know that there is forgiveness in Jesus. Let today be the day that sex doesn’t become the end-all in your marriage or future marriage. Seek true intimacy instead.