What Is Real Love? A Guide to 1 Johnናሙና

1 John 2:3-6

3 And we can be sure that we know him if we obey his commandments. 4 If someone claims, “I know God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. 5 But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him. 6 Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did. 1 John 2:3-6 NLT

Pray:God, I want to obey you. I want my life to be shaped by the love you have for me and moved by a genuine love for others. Give me the power to live truly as your child. In Jesus’ name, amen.

What does John want us to know in this passage, and how can we apply this Scripture to our lives? Let’s find out.

And we can be sure that we know him if we obey his commandments. 1 John 2:3 NLT

John is being pretty straightforward here. He’s telling us we can be confident that we know God if we obey His commandments. Not much to that. But, what if someone doesn’t obey God’s commands?

If someone claims, “I know God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. 1 John 2:4 NLT

Okay, John, slow down! You mean to tell us that unless we obey God’s commands we’re liars who aren’t living in truth? What about grace? What about mercy?

Great questions. It’s important to keep in mind that the same John who is writing these words here, also wrote the passage we studied yesterday.

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1 John 2:9 NLT

John’s statement about the role of obedience does not at all deny or take away from the grace and mercy of God. John saw the grace and mercy of Jesus up close. He saw the way Jesus welcomed outcasts, forgave sinners, and offered grace that made no sense.

What John is doing here is helping us understand that a real relationship with our Heavenly Father is more than just knowing the right words to say. It is a relationship built on faith. What is faith? Faith is so much more than just agreeing with an idea. It’s committing to a person. Faith is trust, based on evidence, that leads to obedience.

We can all probably agree that a relationship built on empty words isn’t a real relationship.

Imagine you get married to someone, but two weeks after the wedding, you move out and never talk to them again. Every time they call you to see how you’re doing, you ignore the call. Every time they try to schedule a date with you, you stand them up. Every time they ask you to help them with something around the house that the two of you purchased together, you leave them hanging. But the whole time, you keep wearing your wedding ring and telling people you’re happily married.

Are you starting to see the connection here? John wants us to know that relationships come with responsibility. And the closer the relationship is, the greater the responsibility becomes. When one member of the relationship doesn’t play their part, you wind up with a damaged and dysfunctional relationship.

Which is exactly what John doesn’t want to happen to us. God will always be faithful to us. He will never leave us or give up on us. And there are some people who use that as an excuse to do whatever they want and live however they like because they know God will always be there for them when they need Him. But that is so much less than what God wants for any of us. That is the definition of a damaged and dysfunctional relationship. And God has something so much better in mind. He is inviting us into a relationship that is full of joy, immersed in love, and wrapped up in His presence.

We accept that invitation through faith—trust, based on evidence, that produces obedience.

That’s what John is getting at. He’s showing us that a real relationship with God is more than just empty words and good intentions. It’s a life committed to trusting in His character and obeying His commands.

In verse 5, John continues:

But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him. 1 John 2:5 NLT

God showed His love for us by sacrificing Himself on the cross to rescue us from sin and repair our relationship with Him. The way we show our love for Him is by doing what He asks.

The order here really matters. Obedience to God does not earn us His love. He loved us before we were ever born and put a plan in motion to save us from sin, death, and the devil before the universe was formed.

As John will write later, “We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19 NIV

We respond to the love God has shown us by being obedient to Him. God didn’t leave the majesty of heaven to enter the mess of history so you could put a cross emoji in your Instagram bio. He did all of that so we could be freed from the darkness and find our home in His love. He will not be satisfied with anything less than all of you. Just like we wouldn’t be satisfied with someone who says they love us but doesn’t actually mean it.

Faith is trust, based on evidence, that leads to obedience. And our obedience is evidence that our trust in God is real.

Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did. 1 John 2:6 NLT

Another version puts it this way, “Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.” 1 John 2:6 NIV

To put it in more modern language, “If you call yourself a Christian, you better walk it how you talk it.”

Why? Because following Jesus is about so much more than putting on a show. It’s about living in a relationship with the Creator of the universe. It’s about letting Jesus, the rightful King of Creation, be the King of your life. Only then will we really be able to appreciate the great love God has given to us.

Application: If you consider yourself a Christian and haven’t even tried to be obedient to God, then confess that today. Tell God and tell others. When you do, He’ll forgive you. Ask God to show you one way you can be obedient to Him today, and then commit to follow through on it.