Everyday Prayers for the School Yearናሙና

May They Have Godly Friends

“What is a friend?”

I asked my son this question recently. Even though our family has lived in the same house since he was three years old, he has struggled with friendships, and it occurred to me that I didn’t know what he thought about the concept of having or being a friend.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a friend as “one attached to another by affection or esteem, one that is not hostile…a favored companion.” By this definition, one might have many friends. There are many people I feel affection for and even more toward whom I feel no hostility. Since I’m an extrovert, there are also many I would call a “favored companion” and enjoy hanging out with.

As I talked to my son that day, I realized that his definition was quite the opposite of Webster’s. Instead of defining “friend” broadly, he had narrowed it down to those who shared his interests and were always nice to him. I realized then that the reason he felt he had no friends all these years wasn’t that there were no children available to be friends with, but because whenever someone hurt him, even unintentionally, he struck them off the “friend” list.

That day, we talked about a healthier definition of friends. Yes, friends are often people with whom we have common interests, but even good friends will accidentally hurt us. We don’t want to be close friends with someone who is repeatedly mean, but our friends will not be perfect.

One of the biggest influences on our kids’ decision to follow Christ long-term is their friends. Time and time again, when I ask families about the differences in their children as adults, their friends as teenagers are frequently cited as an influence.

That is why helping my son find good friends and have an accurate idea about friendship is so important.

Godly friends remind our kids of God’s promises when our kids may be tempted to be discouraged and give up. Friends encourage us to keep going when the odds seem against us.

This school year, let’s have conversations with our kids about their closest friends. Ask if they are friends who draw them closer to God and encourage them or ones who draw them away.

Let’s also encourage our kids to be good, godly friends for others.