The Deepening Experience: You Are the Beloved ናሙና

Masks and Fig Leaves

Then the eyes of the two of them were opened [that is, their awareness increased], and they knew that they were naked; and they fastened fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.

And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool [afternoon breeze] of the day, so the man and his wife hid and kept themselves hidden from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Genesis 3:7-8 AMP

Eden fell, and Adam and Eve hid. Their hiding took a particular form – dressing in the fig leaves that have covered us ever since. This is the day that the false self first appears in the human story – the masks we wear to disguise our nakedness.

Part of the nakedness we try to hide is the vulnerability we carry as a result of wounds our hearts have sustained. Other parts of the nakedness are things that are precious and not for everyone to know because we’ve learned that some will not treat those things as precious.

For women, one of the most common false selves is the over-responsible, have it all together, control everything persona. We learned it from Eve, who struggled to trust that Father would actually provide for the desires of her heart, and so she took matters into her own hands and brought the world down with her. Sarah tried the same tactic years later, and Ishmael was born. (Genesis 18:1-5 and 21:1-18) You’d think we might learn from their experiences, but control is an illusion that dies hard, and many of us take up the same mask. This is especially true for those of us who are married if our husband’s fig leaves include Adam’s passivity, and we have learned not to count on them for our protection.

Even though people around us may believe we are the masks we wear, and we believe that too sometimes but God knows better. He still loves us and wants us to come out of hiding.

Lord, you know everything there is to know about me. You perceive every movement of my heart and soul, and you understand my every thought before it even enters my mind. You are so intimately aware of me, Lord. You read my heart like an open book, and you know all the words I’m about to speak before I even start a sentence!

You know every step I will take before my journey even begins. You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness, you follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past. (Psalm 139)

“My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.” (Song of Solomon 2:14, NIV)

Can you imagine living with a heart so settled and rooted in Belovedness that you have nothing to prove, nothing to hide, and nothing to fear? This is the freedom for which Christ has set us free. (John 8:36)

Whether your fig leaves are stitched from control, success, eternal optimism, a bright, plastic smile, or hiding among the roles and tasks you take on, it is important to ask God to show us our false selves. In the end, they keep us from life and intimacy.

Consider this prayer today:

Search me O, God and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts. Ps 139: 23

As you ponder all this with God today, ask Him:

Father, where am I like Eve, who struggled to trust that You would actually provide for the desires of my heart? Where do I take matters into my own hands?

Jesus, in which roles do You see me hiding, proving, or living from fear?

Spirit, what is a mask You see me wearing that isn’t my absolute true identity – who I really am?