God's Design For Sexናሙና

SEX AND MARRIAGE

Sex is for marriage, and marriage is for sex. Exclusively.

That’s because sex is not just a matter of casual recreation. It’s not just a pleasurable way of expressing mutual love. As discussed in our previous section, “Sex and the Trinity,” it’s God’s nature expressed through the union of two people who become one flesh.

Most critics and skeptics of Christian chastity argue that the Bible has “nothing to say” about pre-marital sex. The problem, they say, is nothing negative is ever mentioned “condemning” the practice or suggesting a “thou shalt not.” But the Bible expresses its perspective on this matter primarily in positive terms.

“[Jesus] answered, ‘Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?’” (Matthew 19:4-5; quoting from Genesis 1:27, 2:24).

The point here is obvious: marriage and the “one-flesh union” of Genesis 2 – which is sealed by the sexual act – are one and the same. You can’t have the one without the other.

This fits in perfectly with the apostle Paul’s warning in 1 Corinthians 6:16: “Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh.’” The same concept underlies Jesus’ unbending position on divorce: “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6)

It is also implied in the commandment against adultery (Exodus 20:14). In the biblical view, adultery includes any sexual activity carried on outside the bonds of committed marriage. This is why the writer to the Hebrews tells us “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” (Hebrews 13:4)

It’s vital to add that God wants us to reserve sex for marriage not because it’s “bad” or “dirty,” but precisely because it’s such a unique, exclusive, and wonderful thing. Sex is a holy mystery. It’s a powerful bonding agent that shapes and affects the relationship between a man and a woman as nothing else can.

To take sex outside of marriage is like taking the wine consecrated for Holy Communion and using it for a drinking party at a frat house. This is why the writers of Scripture so often compare idolatry to the sin of fornication or adultery.

It also explains why they use sexual purity and faithfulness between spouses as an image of our relationship with God. (as, e.g., in Song of Solomon, the Book of Hosea, and the 16th chapter of Ezekiel)

To paraphrase the old song, sex and marriage go together “like a horse and carriage." And the reason for this should be clear not only from a spiritual perspective, but also from a purely social point of view. Marriage involves a public commitment to build a strong and lasting relationship.

This relationship is supposed to serve not merely as a foundation for the nurturing of children, but also as a building block of social stability. It’s the couple’s contribution to the well-being of the broader human community. That’s why sex, which carries within itself the potential to create new life, belongs solely and strictly within the marital bond.