Joy in Chaosናሙና

For too long, I wasted my life looking to other people for approval and acceptance. I wore red lipstick, strappy sandals, and short skirts so the boys would like me. I agreed with whatever my friends proposed so I’d be included in our outings. I studied magazines and read books to teach myself how to win people over. I plastered a smile on my face when all I wanted to do was cry and said “yes” when I knew God wanted me to say “no.”

All my pretending was exhausting and utterly pointless. I became someone else, a fictionalized version of Jessica. And when I had nothing authentic left, just a shell of myself, I looked around at these so-called friends and realized our relationship was all a lie. In the end, my actions amounted to a scary sort of people-worship. 

Yet Jesus had remained next to me the whole time. He was there in the depths of my pain and the mistakes of my youth, there in the joys and the sorrows. He was there as my body was knit together in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13), and He’d be there on the day this body died. Most importantly, He was the only one who could guide me to eternal life. Nothing else mattered. Knowing this brought me joy.

My eyes opened, and I saw the truth: Only God is eternal. And He is a jealous God! I could not worship human beings and God simultaneously. I had to choose.

I believe that’s what the apostle Paul was addressing in today’s verse. When we serve Christ, we must be all in‚ even when that means people tease us, despise us, or persecute us for our faith. 

We honor Him with hearts open, hands lifted, and eyes focused only on doing His will, living His truth, walking His way, and spreading His message. 

In doing so, we discover a joy like none other—the joy of being filled with Jesus and living a life devoted to pleasing Him, not people.

~Jessica Brodie