You're Not the Boss of Meናሙና

PRAYER:

God, help me to see anger in the moments when it’s trying to control me. 

READING:

Anger

Nobody wants anger to be the boss of them. And nobody who loves you wants anger to be the boss of you. Anger can be extroverted, when someone loses their temper. But it can also be introverted, when someone’s moody silence is deafening. 

James, the brother of Jesus, gives us a principle that—if you embrace it—will do more to keep anger from becoming the boss of you than anything else you can do.

James starts with a question.

Who is wise and understanding among you? - James 3:13

Wise people understand that life is connected, that the past and the present impact the future.

Let them show it… by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. - James 3:13

Wise people are always humble, because arrogance flies in the face of everything we know about how the world works and how people are. 

But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. - James 3:14

People who lack wisdom lack humility, and they make the world all about themselves.

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. - James 3:16

When arrogance gets lodged in your heart, eventually there will be disorder and every evil practice because you’re able to justify just about anything.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? - James 4:1

Most of us think it’s not a what but a who causing quarrels. But if you think quarrels are caused by a who, you’ll never get to the root of the real what.

Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? - James 4:1

The source of conflict is inside you. If you think the source is on the outside, you're never going to deal with what’s happening inside—and you'll end up feeding something ugly and dangerous inside you.

You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. ­- James 4:2

If you don't recognize that the source of anger is inside you, you carry the potential to take things to an unhealthy, destructive extreme. 

What often leads to anger is that we’re not getting something we want. And we need to own up to that. So, when you feel anger rising up inside, say, “Anger, I know where you come from. You want me to think it's him. You want me to think it's her. You want me to think it's them. But it's me. I want something and I'm not getting it. I own my slice of the argument pie, and you will not control my mouth or my mood. Anger, you’re not the boss of me.”

If you're a Jesus follower, you already have a boss of you—Jesus. He didn't get everything He wanted either. He said no to Himself so He could give you what you needed most.

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant… - Philippians 2:6–7

To live this out in the real world, Paul said:

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus… (who) humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross! - Philippians 2:5, 8

Jesus nudges us away from self-centeredness and arrogance to other-centeredness and humility. When you move toward other-centeredness and humility, you’ll be free to live a life where anger is not the boss of you.

REFLECTION:

What is your current relationship with anger? Do you allow it to control your mouth or your mood? Consider in what area of life you may need to tell anger that it’s not the boss of you.