7 Simple Ways to Love Your Son or Daughterናሙና

Day Two

"Stop-N-Hug"

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:1–13; 1 Peter 4:8

(Lisa) I recently asked our fourteen-year-old son what says love to him and figured it would take him a few minutes to come up with an answer. But I was wrong; his response was immediate. “I feel loved when you stop what you’re doing, like when you’re in the middle of making dinner, and turn around to give me a hug.” 

So simple. So easy. And yet I didn’t always do this. When I was a younger mom, I considered preparing dinner the top priority, and the children could wait. But not anymore. Wouldn’t you rather have a slightly burned or delayed meal than miss out on a precious hug from this kid you love to pieces? Same here. 

What I didn’t realize, however, was that my son would so readily identify that stop-n-hug as what said love to him. It was surprising to hear such a sweet thing coming from this young man, who is taller and broader than me now. 

Then the other day, my daughter walked into the room, and since I’m her mom, I could tell she was worked up before she even reached me. It probably had nothing to do with me, but I sensed that I would suffer the brunt of it all the same. Before she really got going, however, I had the sudden inspiration to reach out and give her a hug—not a quick obligatory hug either, but a slow, deliberate, no-agenda embrace. 

I think we were both somewhat surprised at that moment. But, the impact on her spirit—and on our relationship—was undeniable. Whatever it was that had been eating at her seemed to slip away. 

Sometimes your child doesn’t need words or instruction or correction as much as she simply needs your caring hug. Such a spontaneous showing of affection communicates that no matter what, “the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13).

Those hugs really do matter. So stop if you’re in the middle of something, whether it’s making dinner or working or scrolling your news feed, and give your son or daughter a squeeze. No words are necessary—simply offer a loving hug. 

If your child is old enough, ask him what makes him feel loved. Then try to incorporate that action into your regular activities or routine. What is another spontaneous way you could communicate love in your household?