40acts: Ready to Actናሙና

Sunday Reflection

A woman lives in an apartment with a mother and father who haven’t spoken to each other in two years. They can’t afford double the rent so they live alone together. Another is estranged from her father, whose new wife made him choose between them. A man comes in to work on the day his mother dies, seemingly unaffected. They haven’t spoken in twenty years. 

In the proverbs we’re looking at this week, there is a long list of the ways things can go sour: hatred, wrongs, sin, offences, lies, strife, quarrels. Left unresolved, these can lead to bitterness and the death of relationships. The sad and shocking truth is that relationships can break down permanently if neither party takes the first step towards reconciliation. 

Ever since the fall, as described in the first chapters of the book of Genesis, conflict has been inevitable. The only person who will never let us down is Jesus. What is not inevitable is our response to difficult situations and relationships. We have it in our power to find healing, restoration and forgiveness.

To live at peace with each other requires sacrifice and courage. Taking the first step towards someone who has hurt us is one of the most generous acts imaginable. It requires us to overlook offences (19:11), and to treat people better than they deserve (25:21). The result may well be to shock their consciences into action – the burning coals of our generosity igniting dormant shame (25:22).

The good news is that we don’t have to do it in our own strength. In his letter to the Galatians, the apostle Paul talks about qualities, or ‘fruits’, that naturally result if we live by the Spirit (Galations 5:22). Many of them appear in these proverbs in relation to resolving conflict: love, patience, self-control and faithfulness. The Spirit in us produces these virtues, which enable us to seek reconciliation, even on the rare occasions when we are entirely faultless.