Restoring Our View Of Motherhood ናሙና

Sometimes my children come down wearing very creative outfits. Loud patterns and crazy hair and amazing shoe choices. They look very different from how I would have them look. And I have about half a second to fix my face. To smile. To not look at them and find something wrong, but rather delight in them and let them be themselves, loved and accepted. 

There are so many things in our children’s lives that we easily tear into, comment on, and disapprove of that simply do not matter. I am saying we. I admit I am guilty.

In Grace-Based Parenting, Dr. Tim Kimmel says, “The primary way to give our children grace is to offer it in place of our selfish preferences. . . . Grace-based homes . . . give children the freedom to be different.” If our preference threatens to exert itself but they are making good character choices, we need to fix our face and be quiet and smile. Chances are, we are worried about how others will see us when they see our kids. We focus on us, instead of actually thinking about our children’s well-being. 

Let’s be mothers who smile, remain flexible, and leave a critical spirit behind when it comes to our preferences. Let’s be moms who enjoy the creativity of our children, the ideas, and the imagination that makes them who they are. Let’s fan into flame smiles and laughter and winks in our homes. 

Let’s stop thinking about how our children may be reflecting us and start thinking about how our children’s hearts reflect the King. 

Take a minute and think through the last forty-eight hours. What came out of your mouth that was critical of your children? Was it well-founded because of character formation (being respectful, being kind, sharing, serving others, loving others, etc.) or was it based on your preferences? Ask God to show you. Today, watch your words, your body language, and your posture toward your sweet children.

Dear Jesus, I am sorry for my critical spirit. For my nitpicking and nagging and preferences that do not matter. Continue to reveal to me times when I am tearing my children down or embarrassing them or not accepting them based on external things that do not matter. Speak to me and show me the way. I come humbly before You. I need You to help me encourage and build up everyone around me. Amen.