Friend-ish By Kelly Needhamናሙና

The gift of friendship has produced some of the sweetest joys I’ve ever known. It has saved me from despair, given me courage to do things I never dreamed possible, comforted me in grief and loss, and sheltered me in the storms of suffering. I don’t just like friendship; I love it.

By God’s unfathomable mercy, I’ve been raised on the good stuff. I’ve had great friendships from a young age, and mercifully some of my closest friends began following Jesus around the same time I did. I experienced depths of camaraderie before the age of thirty that many people wait their whole lives for. It is because of my profound love for friendship that I am so dissatisfied with anything less than the best—anything merely friend-ish. . . .

Most Christians aren’t used to looking for counterfeit friendship. We assume friendship, even the world’s version of it, is harmless. But the Bible doesn’t treat any worldly philosophy as harmless. In Romans 12:2 we are commanded “not [to] be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” In Colossians 2:8 we are warned not to be taken “captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.” For the Christian, our friendships should not be according to the culture but according to Christ. Which, of course, begs the question, what is friendship according to Jesus? How does our faith affect our practice of this massive part of our lives? For many, all that their faith changes is the external trappings of their relationships. Instead of partying, we have Bible studies. Instead of clubbing, we host game nights. Instead of watching 50 Shades of Grey, we watch God’s Not Dead.

But is this God’s goal, to simply turn drinking buddies into accountability partners? To turn gossip sessions into prayer requests? No! Far be it from us to expect so little transformation in our friendships! When the spiritually dead receive new life in Christ, the entire heartbeat of friendship is transformed. So let’s fight for a biblical framework around our friendships, so we can see with clarity the rising tide of philosophies presented in our culture. By gaining a vision of friendship according to Jesus, we will no longer need to settle for something merely friend-ish.