Squad Goalsናሙና

It’s said that the average Facebook user has 200 or more “friends”. But can anyone really have 200 real friends? Can anyone really have 20 real friends?

Making friends when you’re in middle school is tough. Walking into a lunchroom not knowing a soul can feel terrifying. You would think by the time you’re an adult you wouldn’t struggle to make friends, but I’m convinced that nothing changes. I believe the older you get, the harder it is to make friends.

Then once you make a friendship, you now need to keep the friendship, and not all friendships have the same lifespan. Distance increases while contact decreases. They still like to spend their Friday nights tracking down a great party, and you prefer to stay at home. They started dating someone. You got married. They moved. Priorities changed and a friendship that used to fit into your life is now out of place. The hard reality we all have to face is that the majority of our current friendships have an expiration date. So how can you know the difference between a seasonal or permanent relationship?

Here’s the bottom line: you can’t control your friends or their seasons. Regardless if your friendship circle (or your squad) is seasonal or permanent … you should look at those people through this healthy lens: it’s a group of people God has given you for this season to accomplish His will. You’re not just friends because you have common interests. You’re not just friends because you went to the same school. God orchestrated your paths to cross for a mission.

If you fail to realize the purpose of something, you will always misuse or abuse it. There is a divine purpose for each friendship you have and you should be intentional about each one. Proverbs tells us, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” God has given you people around you to help you get through the darkest times. And God has put you in other people’s lives to get them through their darkest times as well.

With this devotional I want you to take inventory of your friends, and your squad, and I want to give you some goals you should have for your part in those relationships. Over the next week, I want us to take some pointers from the word of God as to how to do friendships well.

(ESV) Acts 2:44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.

I love this picture of the New Testament church. Everyone pitched in to make sure everyone’s needs were met. What might your friendships look like if you adopted a similar mentality? What would happen if you viewed everything you had as an asset to help other people? Here’s the first squad goal you should have for yourself and your friends.

Goal #1: Give more than you receive.

If I asked you why some of your friendships didn't make it from your past to your present, how often would your answer start with "they did…" or "they didn't..."? If you did a painful inventory of your current friendships, how many of them are mostly focused on you, how you're treated, if they do all the things a best friend "should" do, etc? Here's a great verse to consider:

(ESV) Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

At the core of every important relationship you have, this verse should be the anthem. Whether it’s your friends, family, or co-workers, you should live with a spirit that is trying to outdo them in showing honor. You can’t control how your friends treat you, but you can inspire them by how you treat them. I don’t want to be friends with anyone where I’m in the relationship because of what I receive from them.

The best marriages and friendships are the ones that are consistently trying to outdo one another in showing honor.

Can you imagine what your friendships would look like if you viewed your time, money, and talents as vessels to be a blessing to others? Who is one person in your squad right now that you could and should show honor to today? No one ever sits down to make a list of what everyone should be doing for them, because we naturally do it in our heads. Instead, why not be the rare person who sits down to make a list of what you could do for others?