Becoming a Battle Ready FatherSample

Avoiding Leader Landmines

At my home church our founding pastor preached for 40 years. He was (and still is) an amazing preacher. He affected my life significantly and is an exemplary leader. One of the key reasons he had such a long and fruitful run was due to his own personal integrity.

He wasn't faultless. I do not idolize him. However, I respect him greatly for the many things he accomplished. In particular, he avoided the "biggies" that bring down many leaders: moral/marital failure and financial shenanigans.

These are leadership landmines. Once they detonate, it's too late to retrace our steps and avoid them. With therapy, we can recover and rebuild. However, we are never the same and our influence rarely reaches pre-landmine levels. It's much more productive to avoid them in the first place.

My ability to effectively guide and parent my boys is directly related to my own personal integrity. I still blow it from time to time and have to ask their forgiveness. However, with the Lord's help, I will avoid the major landmines that could obliterate my effectiveness.

As you read today's scriptures, consider some pointed questions:

• What more can I do to guard our family finances from disaster?
• Am I tithing regularly, helping me ensure money is not an idol?
• What can I do to reduce or eliminate our debt, giving us breathing room and flexibility?
• Am I accidentally (intentionally?) building a relationship with a woman - perhaps at the office or through a civic organization - which is getting too comfortable or too intimate?
• Am I sharing any of my home or family struggles with a woman other than my wife?
• Do I spend time with women, one-on-one, in social settings (i.e., lunches or dinners) that could be avoided?

Our personal integrity is like interest in a bank - it compounds over time, giving us increasingly strong leverage. As our children age, we can have a growing influence and impact on their lives, often in direct proportion to our own track record.

I recognize that there is hope beyond a major moral failure or financial collapse. But for every King David or Dave Ramsey out there, there are thousands of men who never claw their way back. As fathers, we owe it to our children and our spouses to avoid these major landmines. With God's help, we can do it.