Becoming An Intentional FatherSample

Roadblock #6: Despair

Do you have older kids? Are they rebellious? Have you given up on them? I hope not. Don’t convince yourself that your kids are too far gone. They are not.

I was speaking at a church about our father & son Bible study ministry. We’re focused on those dads who have boys still in the house. During a question-and-answer session, an older gentleman in the back of the room joked, “Do you guys have stuff for twenty-nine-year-old sons?”

Everyone laughed. A few of the older couples in the room nodded and gave him those “I know what you mean” looks.

After the class, this man came up to me. He had tears in his eyes. While he’d said the comment in jest, he wasn’t completely kidding around. He shared a sad tale of an estranged son, making poor life choices, completely disconnected from his dad.

As the tears dropped from his eyes onto his cheeks, I was reminded of the pain many parents feel when they have children who’ve strayed. In his case, he felt like he’d strayed as a parent too. He’d lost his chance. He felt hopeless.

Yet, he and I both knew the truth. While there’s breath in our lungs and those of our children, there’s still hope. Hope for redemption, love, understanding, and a deep abiding relationship that thrives despite the years apart.

Your story might not be as challenging as this man’s. Maybe your kids are still in the house, and they just dress weird or play music too loudly. You feel a bit disconnected, but you’re not in full-blown despair.

Do not let Satan worm his way into your mind and convince you that your kids are beyond redemption. If that were true, God would’ve given up on us long before He sent His Son to save us. If God sees us as redeemable, then our kids are too.

P.S. Know what the dad from the church class and I agreed he could do for his wayward adult child? About once a month, he’d text his son and ask how he was doing. He might occasionally ask his son how he could pray for him. Rebuilding a washed-out bridge begins by tossing just one new rope across the gap.