Navigating College for Today’s Young WomanSample

How Far Is Too Far?

During my daughter’s first semester of college, I asked her to name the most challenging issue. Her answer: being in the world but not of it.

This is an area I, too, have wrestled with—not just during college but my entire adult life—and it will likely be an area you deal with. Temptation is all around, and as we move into adulthood, we have more freedom to do what we want, whenever we want. This can lead to an inner tug-of-war: we desire to follow God and obey him, but we also want to do things the world does, and it can be easy to justify actions or behaviors.

We may ask questions such as: How far can I go physically with my boyfriend? Can I smoke substances since it’s legal in my state? Can I go to a party just to check it out? What can I do that my friends are doing that would be “okay” with God versus what wouldn’t be?

I’ve learned that the answers aren’t always universal; different denominations and faiths have different stances on each topic. However, the Bible says that all things are lawful (permissible), but not all things are edifying (helpful).

Therefore, rather than try to figure out what I can do, I shift the focus to what God is telling me to do. When I participate in an activity or behavior, do I sense the Holy Spirit telling me it’s wrong? When I read the Bible, do I see that it’s wrong? Am I listening to what God says, or am I listening to those who want to convince me a certain way?

Another way to view it is this: look at the opposite of what sins are, which are the fruits of the spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Is my behavior leading me to think about and produce these things?

We will always struggle, and we will sometimes fail. But God’s endless grace covers us, and his Spirit works in us to try again.

Question: What temptations(s) are you struggling with? What may be permissible to do but not helpful in encouraging growth?

Prayer: Ask God to show you what he would like you to do or not do, and ask him for strength in the areas of struggle. Accept his forgiveness for where you have messed up, and move forward in his love.