When Conflict Arises - Biblical Wisdom for Managing DifferencesSample

Use Effective Communication

Clear and respectful communication is essential if you want healthy conflicts that don't escalate or go sideways. The Bible encourages us to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), avoiding harsh words and personal attacks. Instead, we should intentionally share our concerns or needs openly and honestly and with a proper tone that is loving, compassionate, and self-controlled.

My husband used to have a problem with passivity. It was a real struggle for him to share his concerns or needs. He would withhold sharing and secretly stew in whatever he was upset about or needed. While this avoided conflict at the moment, it certainly wasn't an effective way to communicate, and all it did was cause him to stuff things down until the point of blowing up when his resentment finally became too much.

I, on the other hand, had the opposite struggle. I withheld nothing and made sure my husband knew every complaint and every concern I had. I spoke the truth, but it sounded like the clanging gong of 1 Corinthians 13:1. That wasn't effective, either. Neither of us communicated effectively and instead only set ourselves up for failure. He needed to learn the speaking truth part of Ephesians 4:15, and I needed to understand the in-love role. It wasn't until we started communicating God's way that we got on the right path.

Another aspect of effective communication is listening to your spouse's viewpoint and being open to dialogue. Observing their opinions, concerns, or views can increase understanding and help you find common ground. Ultimately, learning to speak the truth in love, control your tone, and listen with the goal of understanding will get you well on your way to healthy communication.

Ponder This:

What part of speaking the truth in love do you need to work on most; the speaking truth or the in-love part?

Let's Pray:

Dear Lord,

You are the perfect example of how to speak truth in love. You have never used harsh words or a harsh, condemning tone with us. You provide us with a listening ear every minute of our lives, and we are grateful for that. Help me to follow your example when I communicate with my spouse. Please help me love them, listen to them, and share openly and honestly with them. Help me to walk in humility and love them the way you do. In Jesus' name, Amen.