Repair & Restore: 5-Day Devo for Moms & DaughtersSample

The Damage of Unforgiveness 

We have all heard stories about those who hold on to unforgiveness, and we can see the negative spiral their lives take. As mothers and daughters, we don’t want to wait until we’re in a desperate situation to extend forgiveness. Not only does forgiveness restore the relationship between you, but it points to the forgiveness we have experienced with God. And it’s another way to follow God and practice obedience by giving the forgiveness He has extended to us.

Unforgiveness is toxic for both you and those around you, in addition to the one(s) you aren’t forgiving. The poison goes deep and wide and impacts future generations if you don’t take care of it in your heart. 

I can think of numerous situations in which some mothers and daughters have refused to forgive, therefore resisting the grace that comes when we forgive someone who may or may not deserve it. They won’t let go for various reasons. Whatever the reason, unforgiveness is a huge red flag in our mental, social, and emotional health. It’s unhealthy and damaging to those around us, but especially to our own hearts. Like a healthy stream of water that becomes toxic when toxic materials run through it. 

Sometimes when we need to forgive someone who has hurt or offended us, they may never even apologize or make amends. But we remain their prisoner until we let the offense go. 

Sadly, there are so many women with “mother wounds” because of the unfinished work of forgiveness.

The good news here is that even if your mother or daughter has wounded you and they never ask your forgiveness, you can be set free. You can forgive them. 

You don’t have control over them or their choices, but you do have control over what you do. Your ability to forgive your mother or daughter determines how you experience life, walking around free rather than with an enslaved mentality. There will be a lightness to your walk when you aren’t carrying around the weight of your thoughts about her and why she won’t initiate asking forgiveness.

We encourage you to process any unforgiveness you are holding on to by asking the Lord to bring you wisdom and understanding for what is beneath it—and for the courage to choose to set someone free as you untether your own heart and experience a restored relationship between you.