Brightly Relating To OthersSample

Restoration Guidelines

When relating to people, sometimes we will need to restore someone to a correct relationship with us, with others, or with God. Let the Lord guide you as you prayerfully follow these guidelines.

Before you step into any situation, look in the mirror at your own heart and see if you are not the problem. 

Take your time. Waiting 24 hours allows your heart and emotions to calm before proceeding. This truly allows God to work and helps you work through how to rightly relate to others.

Resist the temptation to burn relational bridges. Avoid a scoffer but pray for them. Some battles you should not fight nor win. Yield your rights by rightly responding and leaving the results to God. 

Avoid email, texting, and other social media outlets to resolve conflicts. Resist taking up offenses for others.

Get the facts. Assumption is the lowest form of knowledge. Remember that love does not take into account a wrong suffered. Love does not keep score. 

“I am sorry, will you forgive me?” are seven of the greatest words conveyed when genuinely expressed in brokenness.

Remember that even the smallest wound takes time to heal. Given the choice between extending grace or prolonging conflict, it is usually best to fall on the side of grace. We should be happy for those who are celebrating and empathize with those who are hurting.

Five steps to restoration

Pray and bring the individual situation to God. Prayer gives God time to work in your heart and theirs.

Confront the individual gently with the apparent offense. Bring up noticeable trends that avoid responsibility. 

Listen to their perspective regarding the offense. There are always two sides to every story. The offense may be with you rather than them. 

Counsel in light of their response, and if guilty, instruct according to their level of offense. After listening, your counsel may be adjusted or aborted. 

Pray for complete restoration for the individual or between parties. Prayer is the most crucial phase in the guidelines for restoration. Prayer allows God’s grace to intervene, acknowledging the need for wisdom and supernatural intervention. 

These lessons are a result of our failures in rightly relating to others and learning how to get back on track. We realize we have more to learn and we want to remain teachable in future moments of reconciliation. May God grace you as you do the next right thing.