FATHERS

DAY 2

Do you ever struggle as a father, husband, and provider with finding a balance between work and family? I travel often, sometimes even weeks at a time, and when I am home I am leading worship at my church. My wife also works full time as a graphic designer for our church and on top of all that, she makes time to keep the house in order and homeschool our kids. I don’t write this looking for pity, I write this to explain the hard work and intentionality my wife and I put into our schedules. The intentionality makes thing easier… not easy, but easier. It takes both of us working at it, but because I travel so much I have to be a little more intentional. I have to choose to be home when I am home. For me being home is being present, being involved, being purposeful, and being focused on family. I’ve watched so many relationships get hurt and broken due to work, exhaustion, and sadly, church. The reality is that there is no raise, position, or career choice worth putting your family in the backseat. As a father, I know that we all feel a massive responsibility to help provide for our families by working hard, but we must be intentional about finding the right balance between work and family. As a traveling musician, I know the struggle of being gone in order to provide but feeling guilty for being gone in order to provide. We all face this struggle as fathers at some point and especially as our families grow. So, if you find yourself in this boat, take a minute to check out these few nuggets that have helped me find a better balance.

1.) Remember that God’s grace is sufficient. Work is important. It is my calling. When I work, I’m on the road. When I’m home from the road and my friends want to get together, I sometimes choose to say ‘no’ to spend time with my family. I am not perfect by any means, but have learned that everything works better when things are in balance. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12 NIV). 

2.) We pray as a family. We pray for my job, my wife’s job, our kid’s schooling and we thank God for opportunities. “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (Romans 12:12 NIV).

3.) When I come home, I’m home. My wife told me once that when I come home, I make things like Disney World. I would take my kids to the mall, the zoo, and allow them to have ice cream for dinner, (which we all know is a sin). She said, in a moment of honesty, “It makes it extremely hard when I have to discipline when you are gone. When you’re home just be home. Being present is all that they want. Let’s still do fun things, but don’t feel like you have to make up for lost time.” That was a little bit of a wake-up call for me. So now when I come home from a long trip, I pray that God teaches me to focus on being home. Being present and intentional when I am home is enough. So I encourage you, father to father, when you’re home, be home! 1 Timothy 6:6 NIV says, “But godliness with contentment is great gain.”