Boundaries in MarriageНамуна

Boundaries come in different shapes and sizes

Boundaries come in different shapes and sizes. If I’ve planted tomatoes and my main concern is the rabbits that like to munch the leaves, then my barrier might be a foot or so high. If I’m trying to protect my yard from intruders, I might put up a fence five or six feet tall. For my house, I have doors that shut and lock.

The value of what I want to protect determines the size of the boundary I put in place. My marriage and family are worth way more than my tomatoes, and the “pests” that prey on them require much more intention to prevent. Again, we look at the words Jesus spoke in Mark 10, which affirm God’s plan for marriage, that marriage is intended to unite two into one. This requires aligning our lives to God’s vision for our marriage, and protecting our marriage with the necessary boundaries.

We have some boundaries in place in our marriage that some people think are just crazy. We are never ever alone with the opposite sex. No work lunches, no staying late at the office alone with a coworker of the opposite sex, no rides here or there. It’s just not worth the potential risk. Wisdom entails keeping sight of what is most important, not what seems normal. It’s how we mark out our path and keep on the path that leads to a healthy marriage.

We also never agree to plans without speaking with one another. Something as simple as lunch with the family is always discussed. Why? Because our time together matters and if we are overcommitting ourselves to a schedule that doesn’t give time for one another and our children then there has to be something that holds us accountable to pursuing each other first.

Your family dynamic may be different than mine, and your priorities for time spent together may be easier to navigate. Regardless, there need to be boundaries to protect what matters, and your marriage matters!

Maybe it’s your calendar, maybe it’s your social media accounts, maybe it’s relationships that just don’t serve your marriage. It’s ok to take a look at the areas that need attention and decide to make a shift.

Prayer:

Dear Lord, thank you for a marriage that has value and is worth protecting. We pray that we are able to be intentional about investing in and protecting it. We pray that out of a spirit of love and humility that we are able to come together to agree on some healthy boundaries for our calendars, relationships and hobbies.