The Beloved Pastor's WifeSample

Serving in the Right Position

As a Pastor’s wife, called by God, it is important to not let this position develop into something overwhelming. Remember that you are married to a man (your husband), not an office, so your support as a wife does not change because your husband is a Pastor. You can still minister to him as your husband; minister to your children as a mother; have your home in order; and then follow those priorities with tasks in the church (Titus 2:3-5). It is actually OK to say ‘no’ to offers of church activities or leadership when you are not led to follow those paths. Gracefully declining or accepting will become easier as time goes on and you settle into the role the Lord is showing you.

A church, especially a small one, may automatically place the Pastor’s wife on a pedestal with authority equal to her husband. But being a Pastor’s wife doesn’t make her a co-pastor. God has ordained and equipped the Pastor for that role, not the wife. Yes, she can support in any area that God leads her to; it can be in Administration, Children’s Ministry, Finance department, Women’s Ministry, Music Ministry, Elder’s department or anywhere. The Bible says it’s important to be led by the Spirit, who enables us to do what we do (Galatians 5:18). The Pastor’s wife, just like anyone else in the church family, needs to be led by God to head any ministry or department in the church (Romans 8:14, John 14:26); she should not be the first-choice default leader for any position that needs filling. This will protect her from complaints or being overwhelmed with details of positions in the church body for which she has no capacity. But, before taking any position, she must talk to God first, discuss it with her husband, and if God says “Go!", enjoy the ride!

To the Pastor’s wife: “Because (your name) loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue her; I will protect her, for she acknowledges my name. She will call on me, and I will answer her; I will be with her in trouble; I will deliver her and honor her. With long life I will satisfy her and show her my salvation” (Psalm 91:14–16).