Boundaries: Get Off the Crazy Train.Sample

I lived in the Phoenix area for 15 years and when I first moved there, I couldn’t get over the 6 ft tall cement walls that were used instead of wood fences. There are no casual neighborly conversations over the walls - no bonding, no nothing. It felt symbolic of a blockade meant to keep everything out, to detach from relationships, and to stay secluded. What happened to picket fences? They are more esthetically pleasing, easy to see through and over. They allow for all the awkward smiles and connections. They allow for definition of our own yard but still allow for relationship with our neighbor. We still have to invite people inside, but we get to decide when that it is, how long they stay and when it’s time for everyone to leave.

People envision boundaries as cement walls but really, they are like Picket fences.

In order to have healthy boundaries, it’s important for us to: understand our root issues so that we can have healthy boundaries within ourselves; understand the boundaries that God has set between us and him; and understand that when we set boundaries, we have to stick to them. Boundaries aren’t for other people; they are for us.

Instead of reacting in our flesh, we have to practice a pause and respond through the holy spirit (remember the fruits: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control).

And for us to grow and yield good fruit – we need deep, secure roots. And I’m not talking about the grown-out roots on our head (from your fellow blondie who needs her hair done). I’m talking about roots planted in the nourishing WORD of God - that bring life, abundance, clarity, and peace. Peace when others don’t like our boundaries, peace even when we don’t like the boundaries, peace, when we know setting a boundary, will cause disruption.

When we are allowing God to shape our relationships, we can act with boldness because of our solid foundation of truth. When we know how to love how God calls us to love within his boundaries – we can fulfill our calling on our lives with confidence and courage. We can live in PEACE when we say no to unhealthy things.

So, get off the crazy train of unhealthy relationship cycles and start building beautiful picket fences.