Loving Well in a Broken World by Lauren CasperSample

Even when we commit to a life of loving our neighbors, we’re going to mess up. We’ll reach out with good intentions only to find our outstretched hands slapped away because our love felt like anything but. Like when we, faced with a racist incident, reach out to comfort with words like, “Love is color-blind!” and are met with an emphatic “No, it isn’t, and please don’t say that!” Do we receive the criticism as a gift showing us how to truly love our neighbors with skin a darker hue than our own? Or do we tuck our hands in our pockets and sulk back home, wounded and jaded? Do we allow criticism to be our personal trainer, strengthening us to do it better the next time, or do we defend our fragility by walking away? Receiving criticism well, as uncomfortable as it may feel, would guide us to seek to know why our words, meant in love, brought more harm. We would learn that “color blindness” simply erases the experiences, cultures, and beauty of those who aren’t light skinned. Criticism, when accepted, opens our eyes and shows us how to love well because it leads us to empathy.

Anything worth doing will sooner or later attract criticism, and radical neighbor love is no exception. If we run away, declare ourselves too busy or too sensitive to engage it, we’ll never learn how our own words and actions impact the people around us. Comfort is an idol, a false one that promises a false harmony. We must refuse to worship it. We need to name our feelings of being attacked or called out for what they truly are: discomfort. Then we need to be willing to follow where that discomfort leads us.

Let’s strengthen our resolve, take the gift of criticism—absorbing what we need to change and grow, releasing what isn’t true or fruitful—and continue moving toward our neighbors with love.

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