Loneliness & the Single Mom: By Jennifer MaggioSample

The enemy wants us to feel lonely.

As a childhood abuse victim who has endured abuses of many kinds over the course of many years, the death of most of my family, and other trauma, suffice it to say, I did not leave my childhood unscathed! I brought with me insecurities about my appearance, education level, social status, and more. Candidly, as a young single mom of two children, I also carried a great deal of shame that birthed even more insecurity. The same could be true for you. Life experiences can sometimes deliver hard-hitting insecurities that can make relationships difficult. It is important that we acknowledge that sometimes we were not left out. Others aren’t targeting us. Our loneliness can be a battle with our own insecurity.

Step 2 to overcoming loneliness as a single mom: Evaluate insecurities!

Abandonment. Abuse. Isolation. Trauma. These can all fuel insecurities. Am I really good enough? Do people really want to hang out with me? I’m awkward. I’m not even going to try because they are just going to hurt me anyway. Insecurities can often make it difficult for us to communicate effectively with others which, in turn, can make us lonelier and more isolated! The lonelier we feel, the more isolated we become. The more isolated we become, the less likely we are to venture out to forge new friendships. It’s a vicious cycle, and we know who is behind it. 1 Peter 5:8 teaches us that the enemy is roaming the earth looking for prey. Do you think he wants us in life-giving, fulfilling, godly friendships? Of course not. When we gather with like-minded believers, we are a threat to the enemy, and he knows it.

As we look at our feelings of loneliness, it’s important that we be honest with ourselves and how insecurities may be fueling a tendency to isolate. Further, it’s important for us to be honest with others when we’ve felt left out and genuinely want to foster a relationship with this person(s). Do not allow bitterness or offense to fester. This is the plan of the enemy! We must learn to overcome our insecurities with the power of the Holy Spirit and the truth of God’s word giving no place to the evil one who attempts to destroy our future relationships.

Point to Ponder:

• Take an inventory of the things you feel most insecure about. Write them down. Pray over them.