Sitting in Grief: A Devotional Journey Towards Standing AgainSample

Day 2 - Emotions

While going through the grieving process, chances are good you might feel like, at best, God has lost your number, and at worse, that God hates you and isn't for you.

Yesterday we talked about giving yourself room to sit with your grief and express it to God. Today, we're going to talk about emotions.

Emotions can sometimes be hard to navigate, not just in terms of feeling them, but also what to do with them after you've felt them. Christians are not united in their thoughts on the role of emotions.

Some view emotions through the lens of Jeremiah 17:9 NIV which says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?". Christians in this camp often talk about how we can't trust our sense of feelings, desires, and emotions to make decisions. Because of that, many feel like their emotions need to be stifled and shoved in a box.

Others, like the Jesuits, believe that feelings and emotions are a gift from God because that is how we were created, and God called our creation good. Christians in this camp point out that emotions and feelings can be one of the primary ways that God works in our hearts to stir us to action. 

If there was ever a time to say, "Yes, but..." to both camps, it's during the grieving process. Emotions need to be felt and can't be repressed, but not every emotion is worth holding onto after it's been experienced.

Grief is not a destination; it's a process. It's not something that can be rushed. In this process, there's a good chance you're going to feel every single emotion there is—sometimes all at the same time. Those days can be very tiring. 

It's those times of emotional exhaustion where you're most at risk of attack from the enemy. At some point during the grieving process, it's possible you're going to feel a little angry at God. Maybe the healing you prayed for didn't come. Perhaps someone is gone far too soon and it doesn't seem fair to you. 

Based on my personal and shared experiences of grief with those who suffered a traumatic loss, there's a good chance Satan is going to try to tell you that God doesn't love you or the person/people you lost. Satan may even try to convince you that God hates you and that's why the person you love is gone. This thought might "feel" real, but it's not.

Here's what helped me during my periods of intense attack during the loss of my father: capturing my thoughts. In the scriptures, Paul tells us to take all thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. Throughout my life, this was easier said than done. What finally helped me was, as ridiculous as it sounds, saying out loud, "That isn't true. Thought, captured" whenever I found myself under attack. Obviously, this isn't necessarily something I would recommend saying in public with people around (unless you have your AirPods on, then people won't know if you're crazy or talking to someone), so say it in your mind, if necessary. 

Today, recognize that while emotions are a gift from God, not every emotion is worth holding onto after it's been experienced. Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide your thoughts and emotions as you grieve.