Tongue Pierced With Nelson SearcySample

“Choose Kindness”

The words that accompany an attitude of kindness also continually reinforce it. For example, when you speak kind words to your spouse, he or she is more likely to reciprocate the effort. Over a period of time, that simple step will lead to more love between you. Here are two of the best, most effective ways you can use kind words to bolster the love in your relationship:

1. Praise your spouse in public.
When you are around friends and family members, speak well of your spouse. Make a point of complimenting him or her. Tell a story about something great he did. There’s not much that will make your spouse swell with love and affection for you more than hearing words of affirmation spoken in the presence of others. Conversely, there’s no better way to undermine a relationship than to speak negatively to or about your spouse in front of other people.

2. Avoid sarcasm and harsh words masked as jokes.
Inappropriate joking is one of the most common mistakes I see men make with their wives. Until they learn better, most men think they can josh around with their wife in the same way they do with their buddies; this kind of joking usually consists of poking fun, sarcasm, and trash-talking. But most women don’t respond well to that kind of communication, even when they know it’s in jest. Instead of trying to prove that there’s no harm in talking that way, be mindful of how your spouse wants to be communicated with, and humble yourself to honor that.

1 Corinthians 13 consists of wise words to live by in our love relationships. If we can learn to give away love that is patient and kind, not jealous, proud, boastful, rude, or irritable; if we can love in a way that causes us to never keep a record of wrongs (that’s a big one, isn’t it?); if we can learn to walk in love that never loses faith and is always hopeful; if we can learn to live a love that endures through every circumstance, then we will have cultivated a love that will allow our marriages to thrive at the highest level.

* How often do you praise your spouse in public? Communicate in sarcasm and harsh words? How would your relationship be different if you communicated with 1 Corinthians 13 type love?