Forgiveness: A Surprising Way ForwardSýnishorn

Day 4: Paying the Toll

" 'Judge, and you will be judged. … For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.' " ~ Luke 6:37-38

Saul’s resentment toward David completely derailed his administration and his legacy. He reigned over a powerful and prosperous country for 40 years. We read nothing of policy changes to better the lives of his people. No improved regional security or economic growth. For 19 chapters, nothing is recorded of Saul’s exploits except acting out his bitter obsession against David. What a sad commentary on his life! It seems Saul is so obsessed by bitterness that his entire agenda revolves around a personal vendetta against David.

In the final chapter of Saul’s life, he finds himself completely disconnected from God. Saul is so desperate for spiritual direction; he hires a medium to consult the dead on his behalf. In his final moments, Saul abandons his own troops on the battlefield by committing suicide.

Unforgiveness carries a high price tag. This must be paid in full by all who hold on to resentment. Sleepless nights. Joyless days. Inner turmoil. Broken relationships. Feeling misunderstood and alone. These are the persistent companions of men and women who have not forgiven past hurts and offenses. Ironically, our unforgiveness has little or no impact on the perpetrator. Nelson Mandela said, “Bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping my enemy will die.” If you hold onto unforgiveness, you are the one required to pay the toll.

Eventually, like Saul, we begin to wonder if God Himself has abandoned us. We pray, but God feels distant. We read our Bible, but the words fall flat and seem powerless to bring positive change. We ask God for help, but help remains out of reach. Though God patiently stands by ready to restore us, holding on to unforgiveness pushes Him away. God asks us to trust Him to be responsible to make things right. He is ready to take away the hurt or injustice we have suffered, but He never forces us to forgive. If you give God full responsibility for an offense and the pain it has caused, God will gladly lift the burden of resentment off your shoulders. He will bring real and perfect justice to everyone in the situation. He is trustworthy to care for you. His power and grace are sufficient to fully restore the peace and joy you desire.

Looking Deeper

Do you know anyone who seems to carry bitterness? Do you enjoy being around this person? How would you describe this person’s relationships with their family or close friends?

Do you often feel misunderstood? Are loved ones constantly letting you down? Do you feel disconnected from God? Is it possible you are holding on to hidden unforgiveness?

Ask God to reveal any hidden unforgiveness in your heart. Wait for His answer. Would you be willing to give God responsibility to make this right and trust Him to bring His perfect justice to this situation?