Forgiveness: A Surprising Way ForwardSýnishorn

Day 2: The Roots of Bitterness

"See to it … that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." ~ Hebrews 12:15

We know forgiveness is the “right thing to do.” Most have good intentions. We do our best to forgive when we encounter unfair treatment. As counselors, we regularly meet with men and women who struggle in their relationships and spiritual walk. As we unpack each individual’s story, a hidden root of bitterness is often revealed.

1 Samuel tells the story of David and Saul. Their relationship started amicably. 1 Samuel 16:21 tells us, “David came to Saul and entered his service. Saul liked him very much, and David became one of his armor-bearers.” David was Saul’s golden boy, the hero who killed the giant. In time he became Saul’s most effective special forces commander. God blessed everything David touched, his fame exploded, and everyone was happy—until the singing started. Saul listened as his people celebrated military victory in the streets, but David was getting ten times more credit. (1 Samuel 18:6-8)

Saul felt slighted when the people gave higher honor to David, an obscure country boy. Saul was offended. It is normal to experience these painful emotions, but Saul’s choice to hang onto this root of bitterness ultimately defiled his life. No one was out to get Saul. Still, he could have chosen to forgive. Saul could have entrusted the entire situation to God and given him responsibility to set things right. This would have freed Saul to move forward with his own life. Instead, Saul chose resentment. “From that time on, he kept a close eye on David.” (1 Samuel 18:9) His resentment became a bitter root.

Forgiveness is giving the offense to God and trusting Him to make things right. When we push aside or bury painful offenses, our intentions may be in the right place, but we are not forgiving. Instead, we bury a seed of unforgiveness. It may sit below the surface for days, months, or even years before it takes root. Eventually, we realize our relationships are suffering, our spiritual walk has stagnated, and our life has gone sideways. Even so, most are unaware unforgiveness is the root cause of this spiritual emptiness.

In Saul’s case the bitter root sprang up quickly. Saul was bent on eliminating David by any means available. To say Saul’s life was “defiled” is an understatement. His entire life was overshadowed by an unholy obsession with carrying out his own perverted form of justice.

Looking Deeper

How would life change if you were willing to give God responsibility to set things right in the area of …broken relationships? …immoral politics? …work/career relationships? …your marriage? …family dynamics?