Brave Is The New BeautifulSýnishorn

Adore

What is this chosenness? What does it mean to believe that our unique blessedness represents what God thinks of us?

I sit on the dock, staring out into a quiet pond, and I remember a conversation I had with my friend Julia, a chaplain I used to work with. We were talking about my writing, and I was talking about how crazy I thought it was that God would entrust me with writing a book.

She said, “Of course, Lee. Because he adores you.”

I squirmed. “What? Adore?”

She paused and leaned in closer. “Why does that make you so uncomfortable?”

“What?” As if I could pretend that I don’t wear every emotion on my face and that she couldn’t actually see my reaction.

“Adore!” she said again. “Lee, God adores you.”

“No, no, no.” I tried desperately to change the conversation. Her brown eyes were so soft and kind, and I avoided them. I looked at the door, the ceiling, anywhere but at her.

How does everyone know how to hit me at just the exactly right spot? Or is God teaching me something through them?“

He does, Lee. He does,” she whispered.

I believe God loves me. I believe God takes care of me. I believe God goes before me and makes a way for me.

But do I believe God adores me? Do you?

I can’t imagine this. Why would he adore me? I can tell you he adores you. But me? I am the accident trying to prove my worth. I am running to prove something. But he stands there, looks at me, and says, “No, no. You are my beloved. And I adore you. Just as you are.”

That is honestly the most challenging thing for me to believe. Because I know me. I am messy. I make thousands of mistakes. I am selfish and bossy and hot-tempered. I can believe God adores others, but not me.

But the truth is God adores me. This phrase punctures me deeply. I say, “I am an accident, proving my life.” God says, “I adore you.”

Which do I want to own?

To believe God adores me despite me is a deeper and richer kind of love than I have ever known. I can’t seem to wrap my mind around it. I falsely believe God bases his love for me off my actions. I begin to see I have bought into a lie.

He loves me and adores me, just for me. And he feels the same about you.

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