A Damsel's DiarySýnishorn

Growing up, I looked up to my sister! I wanted to be just like her.  I would wish that I would one day catch up to her age to do the things she got to do.  I loved the way she dressed.  I loved how responsible she was.  I loved how much control she had with whatever was going on at that time.  I remember days when she would go out with her friends. 

I would run to her side of the room, and I would try her clothes, shoes, and watch.  I wanted to be just like my sister.  I loved how she read books, even though I hated reading.  I loved how she got things done effortlessly. 

Soon after that, I found myself alone.  I was no longer living with my mother, brother, or sister.  As a matter of fact, I was across the world in an entirely different country.  There were no more shoes to try on but my own. No more clothes to wear bigger than mine.  I had to figure out now who I was. 

It was hard.  I found myself looking at celebrities and trying to be like them.  I watched movies and tried to be like the actresses that I saw. I went to school and tried to fit in. But I was different.  I was a young British girl in America trying to fit in. I tried to change my accent.  I dressed like my peers.  I walked like them.  But I still stood out.  No matter how much I tried, it didn’t work.  I didn’t fit into any of the persona’s that I tried to wear.  The invisible masks that I tried to cover my face with were either too big or too small; they simply didn’t fit.

One day, I was reading my bible, and felt the Lord tell me to go to Jeremiah 1:5.

“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you,

and before you were born, I consecrated you;

I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

I was frightened.  I shut my Bible, and when I opened it again, and I found the same page starring back at me.  Then I said, “me.”  Are You talking to me, Lord”?  He said yes. 

I sat and listened.  God then began downloading the plans He had for my life into me.  He told me to read that verse again.  He said, “Mercy, I have called you.  Now be who I have called you to be”.

My eyes swelled with tears.  For so many years, I was looking for myself in everyone else, but my true identity was already formed within me.  I was searching for myself outside of myself.  I didn’t realize that He already knew and formed me even before my conception. 

I didn’t realize that I was set apart.

Why am I telling you this?

This may come as a shocker, but the same applies to you.  You are the chosen one.  You have been chosen for your own assignment.  You have been chosen for a purpose, for change, to impact nations, and even to break chains! Yes, the chains that have bound your generation for so long.  He chose you to break them.  He said the curse stops with you.  But my brother, my sister, you have to stand up and walk in who He has created you to be. You cannot fulfill the assignments that God has on your life while wearing someone else’s shoes.  Think about it. It made sense when David said he couldn’t wear Saul’s attire (1 Samuel 17).  It was too big for him.  He couldn’t execute Goliath with Saul’s armor.  He needed to walk in his gear.  God wants you to do the same.  Wear your gear and walk your walk.  You are you.

Prayer 

Dear Father,

I have tried and failed to be what I am not.

Today, I put down the gear that belongs to others and I stand tall in who You have created me to be. Help me to walk in Your calling for my life. Give me unto me the vision that comes from Your heart and lead me in that path.

In Jesus's name I pray, ask and believe.

Amen.