Is It Just Me?: Learning to Trust God in the Middle of Hurts, Doubts, and FearsSýnishorn

When We’ve Been Hurt

We’ve all been hurt. We have scars, whether small or large, that are painful when anything makes contact with them. We all have a past that affects how we see things in our present.

It is okay to have been hurt. However, I encourage you to acknowledge that God is doing something new in your life. You have been hurt, but you have also been loved by others and even admired by strangers walking past you. Stop giving the people who have hurt you the power to live in your present. God is doing something new!

Jesus gave us advice on what to do when someone hurts us: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well” (Matthew 5:38–40).

This world will tell you that once you have been hurt, you should put up a wall. We believe the lie that protecting ourselves is being realistic and having trust issues is a normal part of life. But Jesus tells us that when someone strikes our cheek, we show them the other one. Jesus is saying that our love should always be louder than our trust issues.

Living a life of love means that you give grace when most people give a piece of their mind, that you give gentle words when most people go off, that you show self-control and wisdom through your words, actions, and your thoughts. Living a life of love is not easy, but it does come more naturally when you are pursuing Jesus daily. Turning the other cheek means that you choose love and grace over revenge or pushing back. It is not easy, but it is purposeful.

Let me be clear: if someone is physically or emotionally abusive, walk away and get help. God wants you to seek healing, and if you have been abused, you need to step away from your abuser to seek healing both professionally and spiritually. But if someone hurts you in a nonabusive way, reflect on it, know that it has happened, and love anyway. These types of hurts still sting. But grace is stronger than any pain we experience. Give grace when it is difficult, second chances even when you don’t want to, and learn to love again.

When you reflect on your past hurts, choose to think of the strength they have brought you instead of dwelling on the issues they have caused. When you give your hurts to God, He gives you something more powerful than your past hurts—He gives you His Spirit. And His Spirit will give you strength to trust again.

Not everyone is out to get you. Not everyone will hurt you. I often think we call our trust issues “realistic”, but we serve a God who is not that kind of realistic. It is not realistic, as we define it, to turn your other cheek to someone who hurts you. But the gospel is crazy good that way. Walking in God’s truth makes you do things that might not always be “realistic”, but they are purposeful.

Respond

1. What past hurts are you carrying? Ask God to help you see the strength those experiences have given you and give you the strength to trust again.

2. Is it difficult for you to “turn the other cheek” and trust again after being hurt? Why or why not?

3. God is real, but His ways don’t always make sense in this world. How can you live in a way that doesn’t make sense to others but is in line with how God wants you to live?