Choosing Trust Over Cynicism: Reading Through Jonahનમૂનો

Into the Belly of the Whale

I’ve always been a romantic. I was the girl who had her wedding board on Pinterest before she had a boyfriend. I would create imaginary scenarios in every area of my life. I was obsessed with romanticizing my life before it was a trendy aesthetic on social media. My hope was up because it hadn’t yet been broken down. I buried stories of love deep in my heart and was convinced that finding “the one” would be filled with fireworks and butterflies.

I wanted the fairy-­tale version of faith, of marriage, of motherhood. And instead, I got life. I longed for a fairy-­tale marriage and instead lived in a marriage filled with dysfunction. I longed for a fairy-­tale birthing experience, and instead almost lost my son and labored alone with my daughter.

Soon hoping wasn’t worth the risk. I no longer asked myself, What if it all works out? and instead looked to the future asking, How quickly will I be let down? I was certain I could protect myself by assuming the worst—in life, in people, and in God. Instead of allowing God to cover my disappointment, I began to cover it myself.

I stopped trusting in hope and befriended cynicism instead. Cynicism isn’t merely living with a healthy level of suspicion. By definition, cynicism is the operating belief that no one is sincere and that people are only interested in themselves. Cynicism is the antithesis of wonder. It’s a form of skepticism birthed when we are let down—by others, by the things of this world, and by God.

It’s not difficult to spot our cynicism with the world. Most of us walk around with a “healthy” level of cynicism that protects us from naivete. But our spirits are not protected by cynicism in the same way our physical selves are. When unchecked in the heart, cynicism becomes a spiritual disease. It’s the kind of cancerous sin that erodes the heart slowly but efficiently. We grow cynical. Or, rather, cynicism grows in us.

Can you relate to any of these symptoms of cynicism?

• You expect the worst.
• When someone tells you to stop and smell the roses, you quickly point out the thorns.
• You downplay the work of the Holy Spirit.
• You roll your eyes at happy people and tell yourself they’re secretly miserable.
• You distort the gift of discernment from seeing the good to hunting for the bad.
• Cynicism is not the character of a mature Christian, it’s the defense mechanism of a wounded one.

Those of us who have grown up in the church or have walked with the Lord for many years are the most vulnerable to this sinister sin. We mature as we should, moving from the milk to the meat of our faith, leaving childish things behind and engaging with the text with seasoned spirits. We grow in Christ. We grow in understanding. We grow in the good things of following God and pursuing Holiness. But if we are not careful, a good thing can grow into an idol. An idol that sends our hearts into a cold state—­unable to love God and love others. Unable to partake in a faith that is alive. If we are not careful, we will find ourselves running from the Voice of God the same way Jonah did.

Have you ever felt too cynical? Spend time in prayer today about the specifics of your cynicism. Ask God to reveal to you what has made you cynical, if you don’t know the answer.

Today we read chapter one of Jonah and followed along as he ran away from his mission, slept through a massive storm, and got swallowed whole by a huge fish.

Jonah knows he disobeyed God by not going to Nineveh as God had commanded. He says to the sailors, “Pick me up and throw me into the sea,” he replied, “and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you” (Jonah 1:12, NIV).

Can you imagine a storm so bad you ask to get tossed overboard? That’s some serious distrust of God and cynicism coming from Jonah! Still, the Lord had other plans for him, and Jonah was swallowed by a huge fish as soon as he was tossed overboard where he stayed for three days and three nights.